Wednesday, 16 May 2012

Prayers for Bobby: Mother's Day Special

"Before you echo Amen in your home or place of worship, think and remember.

A child is listening."

Mary Griffith

Considering it was Mothers day this past weekend- I have decided to post a story I felt I needed to share. This weekend I watched a movie titled "Prayers for Bobby" which is based on a biographic novel (true story). The story is of Mary Griffith- mother of Bobby, a homosexual boy who is at a crossroads regarding his sexuality and faith. The movie was very saddening but I felt that, due to it's fictional content, the story probably describes what many of you are experiencing. 
Mary Griffith and her son Bobby

I will give you a basic synopsis of the film. The audience is introduced to what, at first, appears to be a happy family- the Griffith's. As the movie progresses- it is learned that Bobby questions his sexuality and begins to realise his attraction to the same sex. Bobby's parents soon learn about his secret which is met with regret. After much therapy and church classes Bobby begins to believe he is "incurable" (which is true) and that he is going to hell (which is not true). This leads Bobby to become depressed and Bobby decides to take his own life. Mary Griffith, Bobby's mom, reaches the realization that homosexuality is not a sin, and as a result becomes a supporter of the PFLAG association going on to help others in the same predicament.   

So why discuss this for Mother's day? Mary Griffith- mother of Bobby- has a very important story to share. I believe there are two important things to be learned from her story. Firstly- it is not right to take your life because you are unhappy with your situation. Things do get better- it is with patience that you will come to realise this. Secondly- people can make a change. Mary Griffith's opinion on homosexuality has changed vastly. This mother had to endure the tragedy of loosing a son- before coming to realize that. Not everyone's story has to end like Mary's.
Mary Griffith at a PFLAG event

With mother's day having passed- many of you might have experienced mixed emotions on the day. Some of you would have enjoyed the day spent with the family- others, perhaps, did not spend time with anyone. What ever your situation- I think we all have to realize that certain people hold an important place in our hearts and lives. For me- my mother is one of these people. Although she is generally accepting of my sexuality, this is too a learning experience for herself as well as my family. People often become frustrated, despondent and regretful upon the learning of your sexual orientation. The answer is NOT in taking your life. I do not mean to trivialize Bobby's death. I couldn't begin to imagine the pain and suffering he endured but for all viewers who consider taking Bobby's route- I will have to stop you...

 Final Thought:
 Bobby's story is unfortunate- and the gay community has had enough misfortune already. Research more about groups/organizations/associations/meetings for people such as yourself. Learn more. It is important you do not make a permanent decision (such as killing yourself) based on temporary emotions. There will come a time where you will look back and be thankful you heard about Bobby and Mary's story- and you will smile knowing the story never ended the same.

To read more about Mary and Bobby's story- visit this link or read Prayers for Bobby.
If you are struggling with your sexuality and you would like to speak to someone going through the same try the TEEN LINE site - it is a step in the right direction. Also it is one of many sites/helplines. Alternatively you could send me an email @ .

Left: The Griffith's    Right: Bobby     


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