Reasons I LOVE Being Gay

Admittedly, the posts this month have not been as effective/ moving as last month's. So today I have decided I would post something fun to read and, perhaps, more entertaining than before. I have composed a list. This list is entitled "Top Ten Reasons I LOVE Being Gay". It's rather self explanatory- but for those who do not follow- allow me to explain. This list is made up of reasons why I enjoy being homosexual... I cannot explain- rather read it! Your list may differ- but here are my reasons(starting from 10 working up to 1):

10.

Appreciation for both sexes. It would go without saying that I find men attractive- but I can also appreciate attractive woman. Many straight men are less fortunate in the sense that even if they believe another man is good-looking- they wouldn't dare admit it. Being gay allows me to say "You're good-looking" to both guys and girls without having to worry what is thought of me.

 

This Armani advert is a great example

9.

Ability to mock gays. I always say "the least gay thing I do- is allow my dog to pick out my shirts." This is just one of many jokes I make regarding my sexuality. It's great being able to joke about my sexuality- it often relieves tension in defensive conversations and can lighten a mood very easily. The reason this is only limited to gays is because if anyone else made these remarks- they might seem homophobic or rude. We, on the other hand, are just being comedic!

8.

Societal Pressure Relief. The term I have given to my 8th reason. "Queue the song Little Boxes by Malvina Reynolds." Societal Pressure Relief refers to no longer having to fit a norm. Being gay means- you no longer have the pressure to find a perfect wife (or for some husband) ,start a family, live in a perfect house and keep up with Jones'. Although- you could still do all above- it is no longer EXPECTED of you.

The "perfect" family

7.

Celebrity support. Ever stopped and thought- Charlize Theron supports my decision to marry someone of the same sex? Or perhaps that the president of America does too? It's so refreshing to know that Josh Hutcherson, the cute guy from The Hunger Games, is campaigning for people such as myself. With names such as: Brad Pitt, Angelina Jolie, Drew Barrymore, Colin Farrell, Anne Hathaway and many more supporting gay rights- it's hard to not to boast!

Josh Hutcherson at 2012 GLAAD awards

   

Drew Barrymore for Marriage Equality

6.

Keeping in shape. It might seem contradictory- but being apart of the gay community does keep me in shape. Many gay men are in good physical shape- this just makes me more conscious of leading a healthier lifestyle than before. Although this topic is debatable- I still exercise on a regular basis- which is only beneficial for myself. Hence why it has made its place on this list.

5.

Positive Negativity. I have already mentioned it in a previous post. My 5th reason is Positive Negativity- letting "your hater be your motivator". It's inevitable that you will encounter some malicious people out their who will condemn you for being who you are- this is when you smile in knowing it will only feed your motivation and progression. I have gotten some nasty comments since coming out- they've just helped me grow into a better person!

4.

Meeting new friends. One of the scariest thoughts I had when coming out- was the thought of loosing all my friends. The reality is you probably might loose some friends- but on your journey you will come to realise that many of your friendships have strengthened. In fact friends whom you never thought would cope with the issue could positively surprise you! You will also meet new people and experience new friendships! 

  

3.

Being part of a cause. I love this reason. Majority of you have experienced a history lesson sometime in your life- going back in time and learning about defining moments- such as movements, riots and protests all done for a greater cause. Being gay automatically makes you part of a cause. We all play a part in society- and we all have the ability to change perspectives or even teach and help others about homosexuality. I think it's rather cool- writing history- as we make progression in the world regarding gay rights. 

   

Image taken: Stonewall Riots

2.

Loving who you want. The second reason I love being gay- is because I get to love who I want...Having the choice to love someone genuinely- with no pretense. Being gay means I get to experience my journey through life with another man, whom I love, beside me. This is probably the top of everyone's list...    

 

1.

Being myself. I know it might sound lame- but it is honestly my top reason. Getting to live a life of being honest with my family, and friends. The reason this is more important to me than love- is because I find you have to love yourself before you can love another. By that I mean accepting yourself for who you are... The best reason to be gay- is getting to live life genuinely!

Final Thought:
If you're still closeted and found yourself reading this list- my message to you would be; being gay has its negatives BUT it certainly has its positives too. If being gay was as horrible as many make it out to be- then why do so many still come out and live openly? It's easy to focus on the negatives, rather think of your own list! It needn't be 10 reasons- it could be one strong reason. At the end of the day- you should be conscious of why you came out or plan on doing so. There are so many reasons to love who you are- all you have to do is start looking...

Image Source: Google; Nobody Knows the Last of Me Blog
(Should any of the images belong to you- and you wish to have them removed- please notify The Righteous Gay)


Have a FABULOUS day. (Another great thing about being gay- using words like fabulous!)



 

  

International Gay News

Usually my posts are of more personal perspective- feature articles if you like. Today I've decided to do a post more news related. Usually I try avoid news related articles- seeing as the content can be rather saddening and uninspiring and instead I try keep content as positive as possible. Today's post will be no less enlightening than any before- perhaps you might learn a thing or two. I find that the more you educate yourself on topics such as these- the easier it becomes to educate others.

Recently, gay-related incidents have been the center of attention internationally. In the past month:

In America: A ban on same-sex marriage was approved in North Carolina when Amendment 1 was voted for by more than 60% of the state.

In Russia: Laws were passed in the city of St. Petersburg, banning any “public activities promoting sodomy, lesbianism, bisexuality and transgender identity", with similar laws being passed in other regions of Russia too.

In Iran: Four men have been sentenced to hang (death penalty) for partaking in homosexual activities.

In South Africa: A proposal was made by The House of Traditional Leaders to remove the term "sexual orientation" from the South African constitution. (The proposal was overturned).

In Zimbabwe: The Minister of Local Government, Public Works and Urban Development urged traditional leaders to seize land owned by gay and lesbian citizens.

With 78 countries  that still criminalise same-sex sexual acts and stories as above unfolding on a weekly basis- there still has never been a better time to come out. By that I mean that even though there is all this saddening news unfolding- the world is generally more accepting of homosexuality than ever before. Albeit slow- there is progression regarding acceptance of sexuality. For example- the American president, Barack Obama, came forward and verbalized his support for gay marriage- the first ever to do so. Famous actor- Will Smith and popular rapper- JayZ followed suit mentioning their support of both gay marriage and Barack Obama. In Malawi, the new reigning president has promised to overturn the ban on homosexual acts- Malawi being one of many African countries where homosexuality is illegal. In Havana, Cuba, Mariela Castro (daughter of the Cuban president Raul Castro) mentioned her fathers backing of equal rights for gays and lesbians. In England- British Prime Minister David Cameron has also expressed his support of the LGBT community.

  

Today it might seem like society hasn't made much progression- but perhaps in a years time that 78 figure will be a 75. Maybe majority of America will have marriage equality- setting off a chain reaction...Australia. United Kingdom. France! Lastly- that death penalty for homosexuality may be erased from our world. Regardless whether it happens in a year or not- Imagine it... It has to start somewhere. (There's a little activism in all of us)

Final Thought:

There is still a need for improvement regarding the position the homosexual occupies in present-day society. BUT this doesn't necessarily mean that the position we occupy is inert. Most importantly we have to support one-another as a community. It's inevitable that with greater support the world will slowly start to shows its true colors. I personally look forward to this day!

Oh! One last thought- if the American president supports gay marriage- then you certainly shouldn't be ashamed of your sexuality...

For more information regarding gay rights visit this Wikipedia page

 

My thoughts and prayers go out to the family and friends of the four Iranian men that have been named as: Saadat Arefi, Vahid Akbari, Javid Akbari and Houshmand Akbari. 

The Righteous Gay will not be held accountable should you chose to visit any external links provided- proceed at own risk.

 

Prayers for Bobby: Mother's Day Special

"Before you echo Amen in your home or place of worship, think and remember.

A child is listening."

Mary Griffith

Considering it was Mothers day this past weekend- I have decided to post a story I felt I needed to share. This weekend I watched a movie titled "Prayers for Bobby" which is based on a biographic novel (true story). The story is of Mary Griffith- mother of Bobby, a homosexual boy who is at a crossroads regarding his sexuality and faith. The movie was very saddening but I felt that, due to it's fictional content, the story probably describes what many of you are experiencing. 

Mary Griffith and her son Bobby

I will give you a basic synopsis of the film. The audience is introduced to what, at first, appears to be a happy family- the Griffith's. As the movie progresses- it is learned that Bobby questions his sexuality and begins to realise his attraction to the same sex. Bobby's parents soon learn about his secret which is met with regret. After much therapy and church classes Bobby begins to believe he is "incurable" (which is true) and that he is going to hell (which is not true). This leads Bobby to become depressed and Bobby decides to take his own life. Mary Griffith, Bobby's mom, reaches the realization that homosexuality is not a sin, and as a result becomes a supporter of the PFLAG association going on to help others in the same predicament.   

So why discuss this for Mother's day? Mary Griffith- mother of Bobby- has a very important story to share. I believe there are two important things to be learned from her story. Firstly- it is not right to take your life because you are unhappy with your situation. Things do get better- it is with patience that you will come to realise this. Secondly- people can make a change. Mary Griffith's opinion on homosexuality has changed vastly. This mother had to endure the tragedy of loosing a son- before coming to realize that. Not everyone's story has to end like Mary's.

Mary Griffith at a PFLAG event

With mother's day having passed- many of you might have experienced mixed emotions on the day. Some of you would have enjoyed the day spent with the family- others, perhaps, did not spend time with anyone. What ever your situation- I think we all have to realize that certain people hold an important place in our hearts and lives. For me- my mother is one of these people. Although she is generally accepting of my sexuality, this is too a learning experience for herself as well as my family. People often become frustrated, despondent and regretful upon the learning of your sexual orientation. The answer is NOT in taking your life. I do not mean to trivialize Bobby's death. I couldn't begin to imagine the pain and suffering he endured but for all viewers who consider taking Bobby's route- I will have to stop you...

 Final Thought:

 Bobby's story is unfortunate- and the gay community has had enough misfortune already. Research more about groups/organizations/associations/meetings for people such as yourself. Learn more. It is important you do not make a permanent decision (such as killing yourself) based on temporary emotions. There will come a time where you will look back and be thankful you heard about Bobby and Mary's story- and you will smile knowing the story never ended the same.

To read more about Mary and Bobby's story- visit this link or read Prayers for Bobby.

If you are struggling with your sexuality and you would like to speak to someone going through the same try the TEEN LINE site - it is a step in the right direction. Also it is one of many sites/helplines. Alternatively you could send me an email @ gregodemi@gmail.com .

Left: The Griffith's    Right: Bobby     

I DO APOLOGIZE TO ALL THE READERS- THIS POST WAS MEAN'T TO BE POSTED ON MONDAY.

Positive Negativity

 We as humans all share one thing in common. We all have the ability to interpret information the way we choose to. Circumstance may lead you to believe that you're incapable of making an assumption without another persons opinion- this however is false. You're highly capable of it. This leads me to todays post- Positive Negativity. The concept is basic- yet difficult to apply. You decide whether it is applicable in your life.

In todays society almost everything is surrounded with some form of negativity. Homosexuality's biggest negative is homophobia. Majority of you have experienced homophobic remarks and perhaps some of you still do today. This may seem absurd but, what if I told you these remarks could lead you into a happier state of mind? By using certain information the way you choose- it may just be possible. "Let my haters be my motivators" or as I like to call it Positive Negativity.

Everyone has an outlet. Some compose music, play a sport, create art and some even eat. No matter what your outlet be, everyone has room for development or "bettering themselves". Bettering oneself is a difficult process- it demands a lot of time, attention and effort. Something that I find helps the process is the negativity that surrounds me. For instance when training- thinking of homophobic remarks allows me to push myself further. The beauty is that it needn't be just homophobic remarks- it may be anything negative. The aim is to achieve positive growth by motivating yourself with negativity .

With the fight for marriage equality and legalizing homosexuality taking part in certain areas of the world- the gay community will come under lots of scrutiny. These efforts will be met with a lot of animosity, hate and anger by the opposition. It may not affect you directly- but it will affect you nonetheless. During this time it is important we let our voices be heard, whether it is comforting a gay friend, partaking in activism or just saying your part. It is important you do not allow the hostility to get to you. Retaliating with anger is never the appropriate way to approach a situation. Be smart. Use their negativity to your advance. Allow them to fuel your progression.

On a personal note- I experienced a lot of homophobic mentality during high school. Due to me being closeted through out high school- friends were comfortable with my straight persona. This comfort led to many people relaying their thoughts about homosexuality, and their disliking of it, to me. Best friends would make distasteful remarks about gay men around me and I could not retaliate or defend them. I know many of you are experiencing the same as I did. As hurtful as it may be- you need to reassure yourself. Allow these moments of aggravation and hurt to build you up! In fact, these moments could be seen as having the upper hand.

Final Thought:

"God hates fags". "Homosexuality is unnatural". "Gays go to hell". Their intention is to break you down- do not allow them the pleasure. Apply Positive Negativity. The concept is basic and advantageous- should you have the ability to apply it to your situation. It may be difficult to apply but no one ever said it would be easy, however, IT WILL BE WORTH IT IN THE END.

I leave you with a quote from a speech by Nelson Mandela, "There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won't feel insecure around you."

I would also like to express my sadness upon the hearing of Amendment 1 being approved. The fight is not over yet!!!

Image Source: Google(Should any of these photo's belong to you and you wish to have them removed- notify The Righteous Gay)

Real Love Never Dies

I would like to begin this post by thanking everyone who read My Coming Out Story and all the support/views I received in return. I thought today I would share another project I came by- called The Devotion Project .

According to their site "The Devotion Project is a series of short films documenting and celebrating LGBTQ couples and families." I, however, believe they're more than just a celebration of LGBT couples and families- these videos serve as a snippet of what our futures may entail. Seldom are the youth exposed to successful long term gay relationships, and too often are gay relationships expressed as; unstable, solely based on sex and impossible to maintain. The Devotion Project not only dismisses these theories it also displays three gay couples with motivating stories.

Looking for a form of guidance is instinctive, but sometimes we look in all the wrong places. The Devotion Project is a great model for what long term gay relationships may resemble and is a great form of guidance for all youth. The first video I came across entitled "More Than Ever" reduced me to tears within minutes. These videos are so easy to relate to due to their genuine content. These couples are simply telling their stories -in hope that some gay youth may seek comfort, guidance or understanding in them.

More Than Ever- is a very unique story. If you chose to watch it- you will realise that Bill Campbell, who stars in the video, died a year ago today (May 7th). This coincidence sent my body into shivers! The video is rather long- so I ask that if you should choose to watch it- please watch it entirely through, it is definitely worth it!

(More Than Ever is the first of three videos. Should you wish to watch the rest- visit their site The Devotion Project on Tumblr , for more about The Devotion Project go to The Devition Project @ Indiegogo )

Final Thought:
At times it may seem as though you're all alone, and no one is there to guide or comfort you. Whether closeted or openly gay- everyone has experienced that feeling of loneliness. After watching this video I came to realise that there may come a time when I will look back and be thankful I endured the loneliness and heartache. Certain things are worth the wait- through patience and understanding- we learn to love and forgive. So I propose that all youth that are reading this be patient and strong in hope that someday you will have what Bill and John had- real love.

The Righteous Gay will not be held accountable should you chose to click on the links provided- do so at own risk.
I first watched this video on the blog The Unbearable Truth- Fear Eats the Soul -check it out!

My Coming Out Story

I thought today I would share my coming out story with all you viewers out there. I find it's always easier to relate to someone when you know more about them- hence why I'd like to share my story. I think it's important we share our coming out stories with one another. It's a difficult process from which we all may learn. Perhaps you might find some tips or want to share your experiences.

I would say my coming out story is rather low-key. During the June/July period of 2011, I spent a lot of time alone. It was the school holidays and despite having many places to go and friends to meet- I really felt I needed some time for myself. Which is exactly what I did. After the holidays had passed- I felt rejuvenated and almost like a new me. Personally I felt more comfortable in my skin. I had spent my time learning more about myself and my emotions. Most importantly I had come to accept who I was and the emotions I felt. (You think you know who you are, but after spending time alone you get to learn so much more about yourself).

As 2011 was coming to an end I had a lot on my mind. I was finishing school and planning my future. One thing was clear to me though- I wanted to start adulthood as an open and honest person. No more secrets. I had decided that I would come out. I did a lot of research on the topic and came across many helpful individuals, whom all helped me grow and reassured me on my decision to come out. What I found so incredible was the fact that I hadn't met these people in person- yet they still influenced and inspired me.

Deciding when to tell my family brought up many questions- to which I needed answers. Luckily for me, I belong to a generation where search engines such as Google can answer questions within seconds. I knew that I wanted to be as comfortable as possible in the situation- therefore I decided I would tell them at home (a place I feel most comfortable). I also wore comfortable clothing- my favorite shirt and shorts. Something I took into consideration was that coming out should be done on day that doesn't belong to someone else. By that I mean a relatives birthday, Christmas or Easter. Coming out on these days might seem selfish or draw from the joyous occasion. I knew, personally, New Years day was a day my family generally spent together but it wasn't as important to the family as Christmas or New Years eve.

When planning on coming out I did not overlook anything. I had a back-up plan in case my parents/family reacted badly. I also made the family lunch on the day. I had told a close friend, one which I knew would respond positively, about my new journey prior to the occasion. This was almost like a trial or practice run before enduring my family's response. (All of this I believe makes you more prepared for a situation such as coming out.)

January 1st 2012. The Big Day

I made my way home after a good evening spent celebrating with my friends (New Years Eve). I had told my family I was going to cook lunch- so I was the only one in the kitchen on the day. I had invited my immediate family over for the lunch. My parents, brother, sister and brother-in-law sat outside enjoying the fine weather whilst I prepared the food. I recall being so stressed about telling the family. Thoughts of delaying coming out ran my mind wild. My sister, whom I share a close relationship with, kept coming into the kitchen asking if everything was alright. She could sense my edginess. I got so anxious minutes before laying the table, I decided to take a walk to calm me down. The walk around 3 blocks felt so quick- probably because of all the thinking I was doing. As I approached my house I remember saying to myself "You're Greg and this is who you are- you cannot lie to them no longer. They love you regardless!" Truth was- I did not know how it would go- no one knows. I entered the house- went to the bathroom and splashed my face with water. By the time I got to the table- the table was set and the food was out. Everyone was taking their seats- I decided to remain standing. (I would advise everyone to try standing when telling others. Sitting is not the best when your anxious- but also you command attention when you're standing). Now- my heart was beating so fast I almost couldn't feel it. My hands were soaked and my throat was tight! And then I said it. "There's something I want to tell you guys- it's a new year and I want you all to know that I'm gay". At first everyone felt I was joking. My father replied "I'm gay too!" But I think as they noticed my change in complexion they realized the situation was not of joking matter. At this point my eyes scattered along the table waiting to see everyones response. Immediately my sister and mother got up to hug me. My father got up too- but then sat down shortly after standing. As my sister and I hugged- we cried- holding each other tighter. I felt emotionally drained,  it was just so overwhelming. After all the commotion we all sat down and enjoyed the quietest meal I have ever had. Everyones minds were obviously buzzing. As I sat there watching everyone eat- I realized how big I had made it out to be, but most importantly how grateful I was to be sitting with my family. Today I was a new person- whether met with compassion or anger I knew it could only get better from here on out.


Final Thought:
Coming out is not something that happens over night. One needs to plan long in advance. Truth is- every situation is unique, and no matter how much advice you get- it won't help unless you apply it to your situation. The most important thing is to ACCEPT YOURSELF FIRST. You need to be strong if the situation turns bad. Research more- learn more and ask more! Once you have come out- your siblings will turn to you with questions to which you have to be prepared to answer. Remember there is no rush. Also you should be considerate of everyone you tell. Although it is difficult to predict the outcome- you can still prepare for the worst. In conclusion- make sure you're doing this for the right reasons- to live life honestly and happily. To be yourself.
 

Sport GAYmes

With the 2012 Olympic Games just around the corner (27 July 2012), I decided that a gay related sports post would be perfect. Many of us enjoy the Olympics- it's a time to support your country, watch endless amounts of your favorite sports and occasionally to stare at the hunks or babes playing the sports.What ever your reason may be, I have found a new reason (if possible) to watch the 2012 Olympic Games. Matthew Mitcham. That's my reason. Not making sense? Let me explain...

Matthew Mitcham is an openly-gay Australian gold-medal diver. In 2008 Mitcham won the gold medal for the 10m platform dive. Not only did he win the gold- he also received the highest single-dive score in Olympic history. (When we gays do something we always do it over the top). Mitcham will be competing in this years Olympic Games and will be the reason I am glued to the diving during the 2012 O.G.

(Above: Matthew Mitcham)

I have tremendous amounts of respect for openly gay athletes. In a field that can be very competitive and physically demanding- being open can make an athlete extremely vulnerable to the malicious critics out there. Their reward is in knowing that other LGBT athletes can dream bigger, now that they have paved the road less traveled. Gareth Thomas (Welsh professional rugby player), Anton Hysén (Swedish footballer), Matthew Mitcham (Australian diver) and many more are leading examples of just what possibilities await future LGBT athletes. These men are veterans in their sports and are proof that sexual preference is completely irrelevant when playing a sport. 

(Left: Anton Hysén. Right: Gareth Thomas)

Campaigns such as the "You Can Play Project" and "The Ben Cohen StandUp Foundation" all combat homophobia and bullying in sports. The aim is no longer to keep your secret in order to play the sport, but rather to play the sport without any secrets or regrets. There is one site in particular I frequented whilst closeted and coming to terms with my sexuality- Outsports . I surprisingly found the link to the first article I read on Outsports- and to prove its authenticity there is a comment made by Gregory (being myself) expressing my opinions on the article dated 2011-09-11. Here's the link to Greg's first Outsport article. 

 (Above: Ben Cohen: Former England rugby union international player and his campaign)

Why not have a Gay Olympics? You may ask. We do have a "Gay Olympics". Two in fact. The World Outgames which will be held in Antwerp, Belgium (2013) and the Gay Games which will be hosted in Cleveland, USA (2014). They're both sporting/ cultural events hosted by the gay community to bring together gay athletes from around the world to compete. It's important we show the world that our community is not sport inadequate and that we are just as capable at pursuing sports we enjoy.

Final Thought: 

Support is essential in a community such as ours. If you're a gay athlete or even a sport fanatic reading this- know that you're not alone. Passion, dedication and fulfillment are what makes a successful athlete. Never doubt yourself- you can be a professional that happens to be gay. If you don't believe me ask Gareth Thomas, Anton Hysén or Matthew Mitchum.

Check out the "Ben Cohen interview" video or Gareth Thomas' "It gets better" video below:

Image Source: Google

Video Source: YouTube

Should any of these videos/images belong to you and you wish to have them removed- please notify The Righteous Gay immediately.

Also The Righteous Gay will not be held accountable should you click into any external links provided- you do so at own risk.