Wednesday, 7 November 2012

Support Systems: Our Cornerstone

I once read that we are all the product of the love we receive. Such a profound statement.

Having come out on the 1st of January, I have constantly found myself comparing this year to the last, and without a doubt this has been the happiest I've ever been in my life. But what has changed? Apart from having the people in my life know that I am gay, my year has been relatively similar to the last. Earlier this year I found myself sifting through friends (as horrible as it may sound) deciding which I felt belonged, and I wanted, in my life. The process was long overdue. Having gone through high school I became so inclined to labeling acquaintances as friends, and mistook them as friendships which was ultimately more detrimental for myself. Luckily, I had come to realize this sooner than later, and slowly I have begun to decipher which friends are truly my FRIENDS.  

Through out this year I have been fortunate enough to meet gays from all walks of life. I have heard them tell their stories and I have listened, processed and begun to understand what makes the gay community so unique; our support systems. Just as each and everyone one of us is unique, so is our form of support. I like to refer to our support systems as our Cornerstone. For those of you that do not know; a Cornerstone is an important feature/quality on which a particular thing depends or is based. In this instance, you are the "particular thing" and your support system are those "important feature's" on which you depend.
This is a Cornerstone

I've come to realize that not everyone has been as fortunate as I, and nor will many people be as lucky. My family responded to my sexuality as any family SHOULD- with love and support, but not everyone's story is as sweet. I cannot sugar coat a story of a gay man loosing the love and support of his family- because there is nothing sweet about it- but I can tell you that there are other people who've made it against far greater odds. This is what brings me to today's post.

I've constantly spoke of how vital it is to remain positive throughout your darkest moments because there is a light at the end of the tunnel, there is a future for you. Sometimes all we need is someone to remind us about that light, someone to comfort us- someone to be our Cornerstone. That someone can be anyone. It can be a nurturing mother, a caring friend, an insightful teacher or even a helpful stranger. We build our own support systems to cater to our loads. We essentially have the ability to create a system strong enough to withstand the greatest loads, all we have to do is look in the right places. Many find support in their family and friends, but some are forced to find other means of support when their initial cornerstones no longer deem fit.

That's where the gay community comes in. Many are quick to dismiss the acceptance of the gay community, but seldom are we exposed to the supportive side that the gay community does have to offer. As body conscious and shallow as some gay men may be, there is one thing that unites the whole community and that is the struggle (whether internal or external) that we all endure. Through my interaction with other gays I have been welcomed with open arms, and I have been supported. I have come to realize that we as a community are the best suited to play one another's support because we have all endured similar conflicts. We are better adapted to be one another's Cornerstone. It is this exact reason that I suggest everyone reading this post reaches out as opposed to waits for help. Sometimes the strongest form of support is not one that shifts the load, but shares it.

 Final Thought:
Your support system are the people who help you realize that you're perfect the way you are, and you deserve to be loved. Not everyone is fortunate to still have their family on their side, but one thing I can promise is that you will find just as much love and support by the friends you make on your journey. Remember: "The difference between a helping hand and an outstretched palm is a twist of the wrist."- Laurence Leamer.

If any of you want help/advice or even someone to talk to- email me:

"I wondered why somebody didn't do something.  Then I realized, I am somebody."  ~Author Unknown

I'd also like to take this opportunity to congratulate the people of America on Barack Obama's reinstatement  and for the same-sex marriage results in Maine, Minnesota and Maine- one more step to true equality!


  1. Greg,

    How thoughtful and true... it behooves us all to remember and realize how important we are to one another and how we should support and help each other in this journey we call life.

    1. Thank you so much for taking the time to read this post Chris. I have to mention that I see you as a form of support- thanks to your input and interaction with myself and other viewers in the gay community world wide! I value everything you have to say- and thank you for it!