Mandela Day

It's one of the worlds' most iconic hero's birthday today. Nelson Mandela. For the very few of you that do not know Mandela, you can read up about him in this bio on wikipedia. Nelson Mandela is a man I am largely inspired by (if you do not believe me- look to the top right hand corner and you will find a quote by him). Not only was he an anti-apartheid activist, but he also fought for equality. Equality in it's true form- meaning no exclusions of the minorities.

On a day such as today, which was declared International Mandela Day by the United Nations in 2009, I think it is important we recognize the struggles some endure for the greater good, just as Mandela did. Also it is important we share our support for those who are still in the fight today. There are still many countries where equality is a distant dream- where woman, gays and transgenders still do not have rights. For the people of these countries- freedom and equality aren't as prevalent, and it is important we show our support- even if it is words of reassurance or signing your name to a petition. And although today is a day of celebration we need to look back and acknowledge why we are where we are today, and show our appreciation.


In the image depicted above the words "Education is the most powerful weapon which you can use to change the world." are written. I often think that homophobic people fear us due to their lack of understanding. We essentially become teachers when we come out, which leads me to another quote of Mandela...

"If you want to make peace with your enemy, you have to work with your enemy." If we ever expect homophobic people to learn about and understand us- we have to help them understand/learn. Although this may seem "easier said than done" it does not mean it is impossible. I remind you of Mary Griffith, a homophobic mother, who began to learn more about homosexuality after her gay sons death. It may be difficult but it is not impossible.


Final Thought:

Nelson Mandela fought for freedom in a country were many had given up on it. Often, it may feel as though your'e alone, but it's only when you stand up that you begin to see the others who are there with you. 18th of July is not only Mandela's birthday- it is a day to inspire others to stand up and fight for equality. It is important we do not accept defeat- rather get involved. Remember " There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that people won't feel insecure around you." (-Nelson Mandela)

HAPPY BIRTHDAY MADIBA! 

All images were taken from Google- should any belong to you and you wish to have them removed please notify The Righteous Gay immediately.

Frequently Asked Questions About Homosexuality

Almost a month ago I was emailed by a gentleman struggling to come to terms with his sexuality. He had seen my blog and decided to email me some questions he had regarding homosexuality. After exchanging many emails between one another the gentleman offered to allow me to use our conversation in future posts to aid others who had similar questions as he did. This offer is what led me to the idea for a post: Frequently Asked Questions About Homosexuality. 

What I have decided on is that I will try answer one question per post. This way I can ensure not to omit any information regarding the question at hand- also it will allow me to include more external references without overloading you with information. I would also like to take this time to invite you to submit any questions you have regarding homosexuality. It is also important that I notify all readers that these answers will be of personal perspective and from personal experience. It therefore cannot necessarily be deemed correct but I can promise to share as much insight on the topic being discussed.

"HOW DO I KNOW IF I AM HOMOSEXUAL?"

So I've decided to start with a question that most gay people start their journeys with. First let me define homosexuality. Homosexuality is sexual attraction to persons of the same sex. Although the definition seems rather simple- knowing whether you are homosexual can be a complicating situation. I express my finding of my sexuality as this: I always knew I was attracted to other men, it is something I can remember from around the ages of 10/11, but I could only label or define it as homosexuality at a later stage of my life. 

You may be reading that and thinking "but how did you know?" I think some people can tell from earlier stages than others whether they are gay, but sometimes we have an issue acknowledging/interpreting this information. It starts with attraction. As a child I could always appreciate the attractiveness of other guys more than with girls. Personally at the time I thought nothing of it- but I knew that there was some attraction present. Through out my adolescence I found myself watching pornographic videos as many other teenagers do. (You will have to excuse my vulgarity) I noticed that I was more sexually drawn to the males anatomy than the females. In actual fact, the comparison was so out of proportion that I could just watch the man. It was then that I began watching gay pornography. Note: I am not suggesting everyone download pornographic videos- I am simply stating my personal experience. 

I would say there is a possibility you are homosexual if you do in fact experience attraction to members of the same sex. The thing about sexuality is that it boils down to preference - tests cannot be conducted to determine your sexuality, it is something you should to determine on your own. If you do believe there is a possibility you are homosexual then it is important you do not allow external factors affect you. Regardless whether it is legal or socially accepted your sexuality is something you cannot change. Do not dismiss your emotions of same-sex attraction simply because you are afraid to associate with being gay. (Note: I am not saying come out- one can identify as gay without having to notify anyone).

It doesn't necessarily mean you are gay because you have feelings for friends of the same sex or because you have had a gay dream- I feel these aren't effective enough indicators. I believe a good indicator is whether you fantasize about members of the same sex. (For example- during masturbation). Men who fantasize about other men during masturbation are more likely to be homosexual than heterosexual. This could be because fantasizing can be directly traced to our desires.   

Another observation I have made is that many people whom experience attraction for members of the same sex usually fear the association with being labeled gay. (Basically they are aware of their attraction but are too conflicted to identify as homosexual)  I actually have addressed this issue in another post "Labels" Are Not My Name . If you find yourself in a similar situation it is important you understand that identifying as gay shouldn't mean you have to live up to a stereotype, also your attraction to members of the same sex isn't ever likely to disappear. Focus on learning to accept your true sexuality rather than trying to dismiss it.   

Final Thought:

"How do I know if I am homosexual?" is a difficult question to answer. I believe the only answer to this question lies within yourself. Do not ask yourself "Do I WANT to be homosexual?", rather approach it more open-minded "Am I sexually attracted to members of the same sex?". When you ask yourself this question think only of the answer. There is no rush to define your sexuality, to identify as gay or straight, so take your time. Remember attraction to members of the same sex is not something you can dismiss or forget about (your sexuality will never leave you).

For more information visit this wiki site (specifically their Tips and Warnings). This might further help you answer your question.

If you have any questions or issues regarding your sexuality email me @ gregodemi@gmail.com.

         

Gays Ontop

The idea for today's post came to me whilst watching The Graham Norton show. I realized that my two favorite talk show hosts were both gay. One being Graham Norton, obviously, and the other being Ellen Degeneres! After that I thought to myself; not many talk shows are as successful (and funny) as Ellen's and Graham's shows. So I decided to investigate...

I've already mentioned how important it is that we expose our youth to successful gay role models  in a previous post entitled The Gay 5. It is vital to have some form of guidance when growing up - but it's even more important to realize what we as people are capable of, regardless of our sexuality! The youth are constantly being told "It gets better"- and that is true, but we should also be saying "Don't stop dreaming". Being gay does not disable you from achieving success.


Although there are hundreds of icons worth mentioning, especially within the field of arts (directing, acting and so on), I want to try expose the audience to different openly gay figures out there. Bare in mind that many successful businessmen/women do not disclose their sexuality to the public- so there are probably hundreds more than actually documented. Let me begin with the sportsman previously mentioned in Sport GAYmes - Matthew Mitcham.

Matthew Mitcham is the best sports figure to mention in this post. Mitcham is the 2008 Olympic champion in the 10m platform(diving). Not only is he the only Australian diver to do so since 1924, but he also received the highest single-dive score in OLYMPIC history. If that doesn't set him above the rest- I don't know what could! Mitcham proves that being a successful sportsman has nothing to do with sexuality.

Matthew Mitcham says, "I DO" for marriage equality (Australia)

All of you should be familiar with the fashion brand Louis Vuitton (LV). It's relevance? Marc Jacobs! Jacobs has been the creative director of the French design house (LV) since 1997, and is the head designer of Marc Jacobs. He was part of Times' 2010 "100 Most Influential People in the World" list and also ranked 12th on Out Magazines 2012 "50 Most Powerful Gay Men and Women in America" list. Good at what he does is an understatement- Marc is a designing mogul!

Marc Jacobs

  
Besides fashion there are also gays in charge in the corporate world. Ever heard of Apple products? Of coarse you have! Most of you probably own an iphone, imac or ipod. Whether you own all of these products or none- you would be glad to know that the CEO of Apple, Tim Cook, is a gay man. That means that Cook is in charge of the worlds most valuable company! Not only is Cook the top of Out Magazines 2012 "50 Most Powerful Gay Men and Women in America" list- he is also the highest paid CEO in the WORLD.

Tim Cook in front of a LGBT Apple Logo

Moving onto other news, Anderson Cooper has recently publicly announced he's gay. (Hope you noticed what I did there!) Anderson Cooper is the primary anchor of the CNN's Anderson Cooper 360° show. Not only does he have his own show- but Cooper has won numerous awards for his reporting including Emmy Awards and the National Order of Honour and Merit award for his reporting on the 2010 Haiti earthquake.

Anderson Cooper

Besides those mentioned above- there are still many other successful gays in today's society! The reason so many gay men and women are as successful as they are is simply due to the fact that their sexuality does not incapacitate them from achieving success. Bayard Rustin (Civil Rights activist), Perez Hilton (blogger), SIR Elton John (musician), Wanda Sykes (comedian), Lady Gaga (musician) and Walt Disney Studios chairman- Rich Ross are only some of the names among many that are successful in their field of work.

Above Left: Bayard Rustin. Above Right: Perez Hilton. Above: Wanda Sykes.

Final Thought:
Your sexuality does not define you as a person- so why should it determine you success? It is essential you know that identifying as gay does not limit your capabilities in any way. Do not allow others opinions to prevent you from achieving what it is you wish to achieve. Remember- success does not imply wealthy and famous. Success is accomplishing something you aim to do. More importantly stay ambitious and keep dreaming...

"Normal is not something to aspire to, it's something to get away from" - Jody Foster    

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That's all for today folks!

                                                                                      ...lol