2013

Every year brings new dimensions that enable us to see things within a kinder light, and with more perceptiveness. New Years are a gateway to what the future holds and to greater understanding as the story unfolds. With 2013 ahead- I've decided to take a hiatus from The Righteous Gay and my blogging in hopes that I may reconnect on a greater level with my story as it unfolds.

Looking back on 2012, I am left smiling in awe. Having come out on the 1st day of 2012, the entire year was a journey for myself and I was capable of sharing some of these experiences with you and all the viewers. When I came out, I never expected to start blogging and in turn help so many people. Blogging has been such a gratifying and self-therapeutic experience, and I have come to learn a lot about the gay community as well as about myself. I've come to find that even though the community has its many down-sides, it also has its many up-sides and that it's inevitably what you make of it. (A change in your perspective could be the difference between an ending and a new beginning.)

What I've learned about myself is that I can make a difference, as can you. You and I were both born into this world, and some day we will both leave it. How we fill our time here on earth may differ, but neither of us is more worthy of living than the other. The Righteous Gay became my platform/ my persona that ultimately helped me become more comfortable with my sexuality and allowed me to explore my dreams and hopes for the future, so it is with a heavy heart that I type this post, for it will be last for some time. But before I do take this break- I wanted to leave you all with this final message: 

Being gay is not the end of the world. It's not. You don't have to fit a stereotype if it's untrue to your being but you needn't feel ashamed if you do. Your sexuality, just as your color, creed and age doesn't make you a lesser human and it should never define you. (All these things will never detract from who you are as a person unless you let them.) Remember to never use your sexuality as an excuse or as a crutch and to never become a victim of others' misconceptions. Your sexuality should be a form of empowerment. But most importantly, remember it's not that serious. So you like someone of the same sex? So does every 1 in 10 people.  

 

Final Thought:
It may not seem thought provoking or inspirational- but my message is simple. It's clear. My greatest hope is that I may return to blogging at a later stage with a greater understanding, but before I get there- I must experience more. I wish you all the best as your story unfolds and thank you all for your kind words, support and love.

Sincerely
Gregory, The Righteous Gay
xxxxxxxxxxxxx

Spirit Day: Looking Back & My Regret

In light of tomorrow being Spirit Day- I thought I'd take the opportunity to create a post for all the youth out there. The title of this post may seem misleading but should you keep reading it will all be put into perspective for you. 

Firstly, what is Spirit Day ? Spirit Day is day when people wear purple in support of LGBT youth who are victims of bullying, the day takes place annually on October 19th. Started in 2010 by a Canadian student- Brittany McMillan, Spirit Day has since become known internationally thanks to social networking sites such as Facebook and Twitter. The name of this day originates from the purple stripe of the Rainbow Flag (also known as the Gay Flag) which is said to represent "spirit" according to the creator of the flag- Gilbert Baker.

On a day such as Spirit Day- it is likely that one would share their stories of how they overcame bullying, and how it has made them a stronger person. Unfortunately, I am incapable of doing so. The reason I say "unfortunately" is because I was on the opposite end of the spectrum. Having attended an all boys school- I learned to reassert my "straightness" by verbally degrading homosexuals and what it meant to be gay. I would be lying if I told you that no one was offended or harmed by my immaturity and insensitivity, and for this- I carry a great amount of shame and regret. My actions were a result of my internalized fear of being who I am and although this does not justify my actions, it is what has led me to this weeks message:

Only the weak result to bullying, but the STRONG overcome it...

Should you find yourself the victim of bullying now or anytime in the future I want you to remember one thing: You're not alone. Despite their being millions of other victims who now stand taller and prouder than ever, there are also people (such as myself) that have come to realize that we were wrong- and that most of our actions were consequence of some internal obstacles we had yet to overcome (whether it was issues at home or within ourselves). More importantly- I want you to know that some of the world's most influential figures withstood hate and bullying too, and they're no different from you. 

On Spirit Day I will be wearing a purple ribbon in support of all the victims out there and hopefully I will be creating awareness. My greatest hope is that I get to bump into one of MY victims, someone who had endured MY hate, and for me to be allowed the opportunity to ask for forgiveness and show MY SUPPORT. And I am not alone, apart from the numerous celebrities that will be wearing purple, there are also various organizations such as The Ben Cohen StandUp Foundation , You Can Play Project ,  It Gets Better , "I Choose" Anti-Bullying Campaign and The Born This Way Foundation that will be out in full force combating bullying. Why don't you join us and show your support?!

Colin Farrell Stands Up AGAINST Bullying

For the first time ever, I will not be putting a Final Thought to my post, the reason being because I have yet to make my mind up. I will however be leaving a comment at a later stage- telling you how my day went and what the day meant to me. I wish you all a bully-free, happy Spirit Day and leave you with this video by Todrick Hall called It Gets Better. Check it out:

National Coming Out Day 2012

Hey everyone! Happy National Coming Out Day!

Today I thought I'd create a short post just to reiterate the importance of days such as National Coming Out Day- which is celebrated on the 11th of October. I have shared My Coming Out Story, and I have before mentioned sites such as RucomingOut where you can read others' stories. There is so much one can learn from others experiences and it allows for greater understanding and also displays various approaches from which you might learn a thing or two...

On a day like this, one is reminded of the stature of the LGBT community. There are millions of gay, lesbian, bisexual and transgender citizens around this world that will be celebrating their COMING OUT and being who they are. Essentially National Coming Out Day can be seen as a day to celebrate your sexuality and being true to yourself. National Coming Out Day(NCOD) was founded in 1988 by a psychologist Robert Eichberg in New Mexico. The date was chosen as it was the anniversary of the 1987 National March on Washington for Lesbian and Gay Rights. After two years, in 1990, the day was already being celebrated in all 50 states of America and several other countries. Fast forward 24 years and it's a world wide event!

I recall this day last year: It was around this time that I had decided I wanted to come out, and I was just itching to shout out, "I'm GAY!". Fortunately, it never turned out that way and I took a more realistic approach to coming out, doing so only 3 months later. I feel it is important to remind you that you needn't come out on a day such as today if you feel uncomfortable with it. If today is not the day- then don't come out, rather just be thankful you are on this journey. However, being closeted should not inhibit you from celebrating on day such as today... Today is a celebration for surviving the name calling, the malicious remarks and all the hate you've endured. If you made it to today- you will make it through Coming Out.

Although today is a day of celebration, one should be reminded of the impact Coming Out has had on so many in the past. I ask that amidst the celebrations, you take a moment and remember all those who aren't as fortunate to be around celebrating a day such as today because of their circumstances. Also, take this opportunity to congratulate those who are open, as well as to educate others about NCOD.

Final Thought:
Today should be seen as a LGBT holiday! Whether open or closeted, today is a celebration of your sexuality and being true to yourself. Today marks the day when you look back and are reminded that it took a fighter to get where you stand today, and that same fighter will make it through tomorrow and the days, months and years that follow... (I have two videos to share: Diana Ross' I'm Coming Out and a video made for NCOD 2012) HAVE A GREAT NATIONAL COMING OUT DAY!!

National Coming Out Day 2012

A beautiful gay video of Diana Ross' -I'm Coming Out

Oscar Pistorius: The Golden Boy

80 000 cheers makes it impossible to deny that Oscar Pistorius, the South African blade runner, has grown to become a household name and a Paralympic ambassador - but is he more than just an advocate for the handicapped?

With the recent Paralympic Games being held in London - I have been captivated by all these inspiring athletes and their incredible stories, but none more so than Oscar Pistorius. Oscar Pistorius was born November 22, 1986 without a fibula in each of his legs. It was decided that Oscar's legs would be amputated below the knees before he learnt to walk- as this would allow greater receptivity in mobility later on in life, and evidently prove to be his strength rather than his weakness. Oscar initially played rugby, water polo and tennis in Pretoria Boys High School (the highschool I too attended), and it was only after a rugby injury that Oscar began running, for rehabilitation. The rest is, as they say, history... Currently Oscar holds the world record for the T44 400m, and also the T44 4x100m along with his fellow team mates. Oscar is also the ONLY double leg amputee EVER to compete on the Olympic track and make the Olympic final.

So how does this incredible athlete relate to being gay?

After watching the Paralympic games one evening I realized that being handicapped can be likened to being homosexual in many ways. (KEEP READING!) Not only are both handicapped people and homosexuals treated as second hand citizens, but we both have an internal obstacle to overcome. Just as Oscar, and many other disabled athletes had to overcome their impairments, we as homosexuals have to overcome our internalized fear of being who we are. In no way am I trivializing being either handicapped or homosexual - I am just comparing the struggles we both endure, just as our struggles have been compared to many other civil rights movements. This leads me to the relevance of Oscar Pistorius and his story on a blog intending to help gay youth come to terms with their sexuality. Oscar was born without a fibula in each leg and yet it hasn't prevented him from running, let alone walking. Being a double leg amputee, it would go without saying that Oscar has had a great amount of obstacles to overcome, not only physically but mentally too. Yet, here he stands, a handicapped athlete, challenging able bodied athletes at the sport.

Oscar at 2012 Olympic Games

So we're born gay, just as Oscar was born without fibulae, and here we stand confronted with this huge life obstacle we call sexuality, which in many ways scares us just as much as a physical defect. What do we do? We do what Oscar Pistorius has done, we make our weakness our strength. Oscar may be an advocate for The Paralympics, but he represents something far greater! Oscar represents the outcome of dedication, appreciation and passion, all things we as homosexuals need to adopt. Dedicate yourself to making your environment an LGBT friendlier one. Appreciate who you are, and this life you've been given- do so by making the most of every moment. Lastly, what ever you do- do so with passion. Passion is what drives you to obtain the unobtainable and achieve the impossible. Passion will guide you to what you heart desires.



Final Thought:
Regardless whether you agree that homosexuality and being handicapped are similar or not, you cannot deny that Oscar Pistorius has made the most of what he has. You are in no way different to Oscar, and there is nothing you cannot achieve. Oscar looked beyond the ability to walk- just as you should look beyond the obstacle of coming out. Dream big. Dream of an accepting world, living with the person you love and being authentic to yourself. If you can dream it, it's yours for the taking!

Oscar will be running his final race this evening in The London Paralympic games. I wish him all the best in the 400m race. He has definitely reshaped the way I see handicapped people, as well as myself!  

I'd like to show people that if you put the hard work in and you believe in yourself, then you can do whatever you want to. - OSCAR PISTORIUS

Mandela Day

It's one of the worlds' most iconic hero's birthday today. Nelson Mandela. For the very few of you that do not know Mandela, you can read up about him in this bio on wikipedia. Nelson Mandela is a man I am largely inspired by (if you do not believe me- look to the top right hand corner and you will find a quote by him). Not only was he an anti-apartheid activist, but he also fought for equality. Equality in it's true form- meaning no exclusions of the minorities.

On a day such as today, which was declared International Mandela Day by the United Nations in 2009, I think it is important we recognize the struggles some endure for the greater good, just as Mandela did. Also it is important we share our support for those who are still in the fight today. There are still many countries where equality is a distant dream- where woman, gays and transgenders still do not have rights. For the people of these countries- freedom and equality aren't as prevalent, and it is important we show our support- even if it is words of reassurance or signing your name to a petition. And although today is a day of celebration we need to look back and acknowledge why we are where we are today, and show our appreciation.


In the image depicted above the words "Education is the most powerful weapon which you can use to change the world." are written. I often think that homophobic people fear us due to their lack of understanding. We essentially become teachers when we come out, which leads me to another quote of Mandela...

"If you want to make peace with your enemy, you have to work with your enemy." If we ever expect homophobic people to learn about and understand us- we have to help them understand/learn. Although this may seem "easier said than done" it does not mean it is impossible. I remind you of Mary Griffith, a homophobic mother, who began to learn more about homosexuality after her gay sons death. It may be difficult but it is not impossible.


Final Thought:

Nelson Mandela fought for freedom in a country were many had given up on it. Often, it may feel as though your'e alone, but it's only when you stand up that you begin to see the others who are there with you. 18th of July is not only Mandela's birthday- it is a day to inspire others to stand up and fight for equality. It is important we do not accept defeat- rather get involved. Remember " There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that people won't feel insecure around you." (-Nelson Mandela)

HAPPY BIRTHDAY MADIBA! 

All images were taken from Google- should any belong to you and you wish to have them removed please notify The Righteous Gay immediately.