2013

Every year brings new dimensions that enable us to see things within a kinder light, and with more perceptiveness. New Years are a gateway to what the future holds and to greater understanding as the story unfolds. With 2013 ahead- I've decided to take a hiatus from The Righteous Gay and my blogging in hopes that I may reconnect on a greater level with my story as it unfolds.

Looking back on 2012, I am left smiling in awe. Having come out on the 1st day of 2012, the entire year was a journey for myself and I was capable of sharing some of these experiences with you and all the viewers. When I came out, I never expected to start blogging and in turn help so many people. Blogging has been such a gratifying and self-therapeutic experience, and I have come to learn a lot about the gay community as well as about myself. I've come to find that even though the community has its many down-sides, it also has its many up-sides and that it's inevitably what you make of it. (A change in your perspective could be the difference between an ending and a new beginning.)

What I've learned about myself is that I can make a difference, as can you. You and I were both born into this world, and some day we will both leave it. How we fill our time here on earth may differ, but neither of us is more worthy of living than the other. The Righteous Gay became my platform/ my persona that ultimately helped me become more comfortable with my sexuality and allowed me to explore my dreams and hopes for the future, so it is with a heavy heart that I type this post, for it will be last for some time. But before I do take this break- I wanted to leave you all with this final message: 

Being gay is not the end of the world. It's not. You don't have to fit a stereotype if it's untrue to your being but you needn't feel ashamed if you do. Your sexuality, just as your color, creed and age doesn't make you a lesser human and it should never define you. (All these things will never detract from who you are as a person unless you let them.) Remember to never use your sexuality as an excuse or as a crutch and to never become a victim of others' misconceptions. Your sexuality should be a form of empowerment. But most importantly, remember it's not that serious. So you like someone of the same sex? So does every 1 in 10 people.  

 

Final Thought:
It may not seem thought provoking or inspirational- but my message is simple. It's clear. My greatest hope is that I may return to blogging at a later stage with a greater understanding, but before I get there- I must experience more. I wish you all the best as your story unfolds and thank you all for your kind words, support and love.

Sincerely
Gregory, The Righteous Gay
xxxxxxxxxxxxx

National Coming Out Day 2012

Hey everyone! Happy National Coming Out Day!

Today I thought I'd create a short post just to reiterate the importance of days such as National Coming Out Day- which is celebrated on the 11th of October. I have shared My Coming Out Story, and I have before mentioned sites such as RucomingOut where you can read others' stories. There is so much one can learn from others experiences and it allows for greater understanding and also displays various approaches from which you might learn a thing or two...

On a day like this, one is reminded of the stature of the LGBT community. There are millions of gay, lesbian, bisexual and transgender citizens around this world that will be celebrating their COMING OUT and being who they are. Essentially National Coming Out Day can be seen as a day to celebrate your sexuality and being true to yourself. National Coming Out Day(NCOD) was founded in 1988 by a psychologist Robert Eichberg in New Mexico. The date was chosen as it was the anniversary of the 1987 National March on Washington for Lesbian and Gay Rights. After two years, in 1990, the day was already being celebrated in all 50 states of America and several other countries. Fast forward 24 years and it's a world wide event!

I recall this day last year: It was around this time that I had decided I wanted to come out, and I was just itching to shout out, "I'm GAY!". Fortunately, it never turned out that way and I took a more realistic approach to coming out, doing so only 3 months later. I feel it is important to remind you that you needn't come out on a day such as today if you feel uncomfortable with it. If today is not the day- then don't come out, rather just be thankful you are on this journey. However, being closeted should not inhibit you from celebrating on day such as today... Today is a celebration for surviving the name calling, the malicious remarks and all the hate you've endured. If you made it to today- you will make it through Coming Out.

Although today is a day of celebration, one should be reminded of the impact Coming Out has had on so many in the past. I ask that amidst the celebrations, you take a moment and remember all those who aren't as fortunate to be around celebrating a day such as today because of their circumstances. Also, take this opportunity to congratulate those who are open, as well as to educate others about NCOD.

Final Thought:
Today should be seen as a LGBT holiday! Whether open or closeted, today is a celebration of your sexuality and being true to yourself. Today marks the day when you look back and are reminded that it took a fighter to get where you stand today, and that same fighter will make it through tomorrow and the days, months and years that follow... (I have two videos to share: Diana Ross' I'm Coming Out and a video made for NCOD 2012) HAVE A GREAT NATIONAL COMING OUT DAY!!

National Coming Out Day 2012

A beautiful gay video of Diana Ross' -I'm Coming Out

Mandela Day

It's one of the worlds' most iconic hero's birthday today. Nelson Mandela. For the very few of you that do not know Mandela, you can read up about him in this bio on wikipedia. Nelson Mandela is a man I am largely inspired by (if you do not believe me- look to the top right hand corner and you will find a quote by him). Not only was he an anti-apartheid activist, but he also fought for equality. Equality in it's true form- meaning no exclusions of the minorities.

On a day such as today, which was declared International Mandela Day by the United Nations in 2009, I think it is important we recognize the struggles some endure for the greater good, just as Mandela did. Also it is important we share our support for those who are still in the fight today. There are still many countries where equality is a distant dream- where woman, gays and transgenders still do not have rights. For the people of these countries- freedom and equality aren't as prevalent, and it is important we show our support- even if it is words of reassurance or signing your name to a petition. And although today is a day of celebration we need to look back and acknowledge why we are where we are today, and show our appreciation.


In the image depicted above the words "Education is the most powerful weapon which you can use to change the world." are written. I often think that homophobic people fear us due to their lack of understanding. We essentially become teachers when we come out, which leads me to another quote of Mandela...

"If you want to make peace with your enemy, you have to work with your enemy." If we ever expect homophobic people to learn about and understand us- we have to help them understand/learn. Although this may seem "easier said than done" it does not mean it is impossible. I remind you of Mary Griffith, a homophobic mother, who began to learn more about homosexuality after her gay sons death. It may be difficult but it is not impossible.


Final Thought:

Nelson Mandela fought for freedom in a country were many had given up on it. Often, it may feel as though your'e alone, but it's only when you stand up that you begin to see the others who are there with you. 18th of July is not only Mandela's birthday- it is a day to inspire others to stand up and fight for equality. It is important we do not accept defeat- rather get involved. Remember " There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that people won't feel insecure around you." (-Nelson Mandela)

HAPPY BIRTHDAY MADIBA! 

All images were taken from Google- should any belong to you and you wish to have them removed please notify The Righteous Gay immediately.

Reasons I LOVE Being Gay

Admittedly, the posts this month have not been as effective/ moving as last month's. So today I have decided I would post something fun to read and, perhaps, more entertaining than before. I have composed a list. This list is entitled "Top Ten Reasons I LOVE Being Gay". It's rather self explanatory- but for those who do not follow- allow me to explain. This list is made up of reasons why I enjoy being homosexual... I cannot explain- rather read it! Your list may differ- but here are my reasons(starting from 10 working up to 1):

10.

Appreciation for both sexes. It would go without saying that I find men attractive- but I can also appreciate attractive woman. Many straight men are less fortunate in the sense that even if they believe another man is good-looking- they wouldn't dare admit it. Being gay allows me to say "You're good-looking" to both guys and girls without having to worry what is thought of me.

 

This Armani advert is a great example

9.

Ability to mock gays. I always say "the least gay thing I do- is allow my dog to pick out my shirts." This is just one of many jokes I make regarding my sexuality. It's great being able to joke about my sexuality- it often relieves tension in defensive conversations and can lighten a mood very easily. The reason this is only limited to gays is because if anyone else made these remarks- they might seem homophobic or rude. We, on the other hand, are just being comedic!

8.

Societal Pressure Relief. The term I have given to my 8th reason. "Queue the song Little Boxes by Malvina Reynolds." Societal Pressure Relief refers to no longer having to fit a norm. Being gay means- you no longer have the pressure to find a perfect wife (or for some husband) ,start a family, live in a perfect house and keep up with Jones'. Although- you could still do all above- it is no longer EXPECTED of you.

The "perfect" family

7.

Celebrity support. Ever stopped and thought- Charlize Theron supports my decision to marry someone of the same sex? Or perhaps that the president of America does too? It's so refreshing to know that Josh Hutcherson, the cute guy from The Hunger Games, is campaigning for people such as myself. With names such as: Brad Pitt, Angelina Jolie, Drew Barrymore, Colin Farrell, Anne Hathaway and many more supporting gay rights- it's hard to not to boast!

Josh Hutcherson at 2012 GLAAD awards

   

Drew Barrymore for Marriage Equality

6.

Keeping in shape. It might seem contradictory- but being apart of the gay community does keep me in shape. Many gay men are in good physical shape- this just makes me more conscious of leading a healthier lifestyle than before. Although this topic is debatable- I still exercise on a regular basis- which is only beneficial for myself. Hence why it has made its place on this list.

5.

Positive Negativity. I have already mentioned it in a previous post. My 5th reason is Positive Negativity- letting "your hater be your motivator". It's inevitable that you will encounter some malicious people out their who will condemn you for being who you are- this is when you smile in knowing it will only feed your motivation and progression. I have gotten some nasty comments since coming out- they've just helped me grow into a better person!

4.

Meeting new friends. One of the scariest thoughts I had when coming out- was the thought of loosing all my friends. The reality is you probably might loose some friends- but on your journey you will come to realise that many of your friendships have strengthened. In fact friends whom you never thought would cope with the issue could positively surprise you! You will also meet new people and experience new friendships! 

  

3.

Being part of a cause. I love this reason. Majority of you have experienced a history lesson sometime in your life- going back in time and learning about defining moments- such as movements, riots and protests all done for a greater cause. Being gay automatically makes you part of a cause. We all play a part in society- and we all have the ability to change perspectives or even teach and help others about homosexuality. I think it's rather cool- writing history- as we make progression in the world regarding gay rights. 

   

Image taken: Stonewall Riots

2.

Loving who you want. The second reason I love being gay- is because I get to love who I want...Having the choice to love someone genuinely- with no pretense. Being gay means I get to experience my journey through life with another man, whom I love, beside me. This is probably the top of everyone's list...    

 

1.

Being myself. I know it might sound lame- but it is honestly my top reason. Getting to live a life of being honest with my family, and friends. The reason this is more important to me than love- is because I find you have to love yourself before you can love another. By that I mean accepting yourself for who you are... The best reason to be gay- is getting to live life genuinely!

Final Thought:
If you're still closeted and found yourself reading this list- my message to you would be; being gay has its negatives BUT it certainly has its positives too. If being gay was as horrible as many make it out to be- then why do so many still come out and live openly? It's easy to focus on the negatives, rather think of your own list! It needn't be 10 reasons- it could be one strong reason. At the end of the day- you should be conscious of why you came out or plan on doing so. There are so many reasons to love who you are- all you have to do is start looking...

Image Source: Google; Nobody Knows the Last of Me Blog
(Should any of the images belong to you- and you wish to have them removed- please notify The Righteous Gay)


Have a FABULOUS day. (Another great thing about being gay- using words like fabulous!)



 

  

International Gay News

Usually my posts are of more personal perspective- feature articles if you like. Today I've decided to do a post more news related. Usually I try avoid news related articles- seeing as the content can be rather saddening and uninspiring and instead I try keep content as positive as possible. Today's post will be no less enlightening than any before- perhaps you might learn a thing or two. I find that the more you educate yourself on topics such as these- the easier it becomes to educate others.

Recently, gay-related incidents have been the center of attention internationally. In the past month:

In America: A ban on same-sex marriage was approved in North Carolina when Amendment 1 was voted for by more than 60% of the state.

In Russia: Laws were passed in the city of St. Petersburg, banning any “public activities promoting sodomy, lesbianism, bisexuality and transgender identity", with similar laws being passed in other regions of Russia too.

In Iran: Four men have been sentenced to hang (death penalty) for partaking in homosexual activities.

In South Africa: A proposal was made by The House of Traditional Leaders to remove the term "sexual orientation" from the South African constitution. (The proposal was overturned).

In Zimbabwe: The Minister of Local Government, Public Works and Urban Development urged traditional leaders to seize land owned by gay and lesbian citizens.

With 78 countries  that still criminalise same-sex sexual acts and stories as above unfolding on a weekly basis- there still has never been a better time to come out. By that I mean that even though there is all this saddening news unfolding- the world is generally more accepting of homosexuality than ever before. Albeit slow- there is progression regarding acceptance of sexuality. For example- the American president, Barack Obama, came forward and verbalized his support for gay marriage- the first ever to do so. Famous actor- Will Smith and popular rapper- JayZ followed suit mentioning their support of both gay marriage and Barack Obama. In Malawi, the new reigning president has promised to overturn the ban on homosexual acts- Malawi being one of many African countries where homosexuality is illegal. In Havana, Cuba, Mariela Castro (daughter of the Cuban president Raul Castro) mentioned her fathers backing of equal rights for gays and lesbians. In England- British Prime Minister David Cameron has also expressed his support of the LGBT community.

  

Today it might seem like society hasn't made much progression- but perhaps in a years time that 78 figure will be a 75. Maybe majority of America will have marriage equality- setting off a chain reaction...Australia. United Kingdom. France! Lastly- that death penalty for homosexuality may be erased from our world. Regardless whether it happens in a year or not- Imagine it... It has to start somewhere. (There's a little activism in all of us)

Final Thought:

There is still a need for improvement regarding the position the homosexual occupies in present-day society. BUT this doesn't necessarily mean that the position we occupy is inert. Most importantly we have to support one-another as a community. It's inevitable that with greater support the world will slowly start to shows its true colors. I personally look forward to this day!

Oh! One last thought- if the American president supports gay marriage- then you certainly shouldn't be ashamed of your sexuality...

For more information regarding gay rights visit this Wikipedia page

 

My thoughts and prayers go out to the family and friends of the four Iranian men that have been named as: Saadat Arefi, Vahid Akbari, Javid Akbari and Houshmand Akbari. 

The Righteous Gay will not be held accountable should you chose to visit any external links provided- proceed at own risk.

 

Positive Negativity

 We as humans all share one thing in common. We all have the ability to interpret information the way we choose to. Circumstance may lead you to believe that you're incapable of making an assumption without another persons opinion- this however is false. You're highly capable of it. This leads me to todays post- Positive Negativity. The concept is basic- yet difficult to apply. You decide whether it is applicable in your life.

In todays society almost everything is surrounded with some form of negativity. Homosexuality's biggest negative is homophobia. Majority of you have experienced homophobic remarks and perhaps some of you still do today. This may seem absurd but, what if I told you these remarks could lead you into a happier state of mind? By using certain information the way you choose- it may just be possible. "Let my haters be my motivators" or as I like to call it Positive Negativity.

Everyone has an outlet. Some compose music, play a sport, create art and some even eat. No matter what your outlet be, everyone has room for development or "bettering themselves". Bettering oneself is a difficult process- it demands a lot of time, attention and effort. Something that I find helps the process is the negativity that surrounds me. For instance when training- thinking of homophobic remarks allows me to push myself further. The beauty is that it needn't be just homophobic remarks- it may be anything negative. The aim is to achieve positive growth by motivating yourself with negativity .

With the fight for marriage equality and legalizing homosexuality taking part in certain areas of the world- the gay community will come under lots of scrutiny. These efforts will be met with a lot of animosity, hate and anger by the opposition. It may not affect you directly- but it will affect you nonetheless. During this time it is important we let our voices be heard, whether it is comforting a gay friend, partaking in activism or just saying your part. It is important you do not allow the hostility to get to you. Retaliating with anger is never the appropriate way to approach a situation. Be smart. Use their negativity to your advance. Allow them to fuel your progression.

On a personal note- I experienced a lot of homophobic mentality during high school. Due to me being closeted through out high school- friends were comfortable with my straight persona. This comfort led to many people relaying their thoughts about homosexuality, and their disliking of it, to me. Best friends would make distasteful remarks about gay men around me and I could not retaliate or defend them. I know many of you are experiencing the same as I did. As hurtful as it may be- you need to reassure yourself. Allow these moments of aggravation and hurt to build you up! In fact, these moments could be seen as having the upper hand.

Final Thought:

"God hates fags". "Homosexuality is unnatural". "Gays go to hell". Their intention is to break you down- do not allow them the pleasure. Apply Positive Negativity. The concept is basic and advantageous- should you have the ability to apply it to your situation. It may be difficult to apply but no one ever said it would be easy, however, IT WILL BE WORTH IT IN THE END.

I leave you with a quote from a speech by Nelson Mandela, "There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won't feel insecure around you."

I would also like to express my sadness upon the hearing of Amendment 1 being approved. The fight is not over yet!!!

Image Source: Google(Should any of these photo's belong to you and you wish to have them removed- notify The Righteous Gay)