2013

Every year brings new dimensions that enable us to see things within a kinder light, and with more perceptiveness. New Years are a gateway to what the future holds and to greater understanding as the story unfolds. With 2013 ahead- I've decided to take a hiatus from The Righteous Gay and my blogging in hopes that I may reconnect on a greater level with my story as it unfolds.

Looking back on 2012, I am left smiling in awe. Having come out on the 1st day of 2012, the entire year was a journey for myself and I was capable of sharing some of these experiences with you and all the viewers. When I came out, I never expected to start blogging and in turn help so many people. Blogging has been such a gratifying and self-therapeutic experience, and I have come to learn a lot about the gay community as well as about myself. I've come to find that even though the community has its many down-sides, it also has its many up-sides and that it's inevitably what you make of it. (A change in your perspective could be the difference between an ending and a new beginning.)

What I've learned about myself is that I can make a difference, as can you. You and I were both born into this world, and some day we will both leave it. How we fill our time here on earth may differ, but neither of us is more worthy of living than the other. The Righteous Gay became my platform/ my persona that ultimately helped me become more comfortable with my sexuality and allowed me to explore my dreams and hopes for the future, so it is with a heavy heart that I type this post, for it will be last for some time. But before I do take this break- I wanted to leave you all with this final message: 

Being gay is not the end of the world. It's not. You don't have to fit a stereotype if it's untrue to your being but you needn't feel ashamed if you do. Your sexuality, just as your color, creed and age doesn't make you a lesser human and it should never define you. (All these things will never detract from who you are as a person unless you let them.) Remember to never use your sexuality as an excuse or as a crutch and to never become a victim of others' misconceptions. Your sexuality should be a form of empowerment. But most importantly, remember it's not that serious. So you like someone of the same sex? So does every 1 in 10 people.  

 

Final Thought:
It may not seem thought provoking or inspirational- but my message is simple. It's clear. My greatest hope is that I may return to blogging at a later stage with a greater understanding, but before I get there- I must experience more. I wish you all the best as your story unfolds and thank you all for your kind words, support and love.

Sincerely
Gregory, The Righteous Gay
xxxxxxxxxxxxx

That's so GAY!

We've all heard it before. In all honesty, I am guilty of having used the phrase myself, and for this I am ashamed. Having attended an all boy school- colloquial phrases such as, "That's so gay", became a way of reasserting your "straightness". Or so I thought. Regardless whether the phrase is spoken in jest or with malicious intent, the phrase NEEDS TO STOP BEING SAID! Admittedly, this is not easy to achieve, so in response I have found a way to combat the affects one might feel when a phrase such as this one is said...

What if I told you That's So Gay could be considered a phrase of endearment? I'm not suggesting the community should adopt the phrase as some form of catch phrase, but we could change our perspective on the phrase itself. It's almost like Positive Negativity which I spoke of months back, just put into practice...

Before we begin, let me address/express my views on the phrase: That's So Gay. "That's So Gay" is a poorly coined phrase that I believe, indicates idiocy and the inability to articulate oneself (when using the phrase). Put more simply: It's So LAME. If I could have my way, the phrase would be wiped from this planet and using such a term would result in imprisonment... That's how opposed I am to it being said. I was once as naive as to believe that the term wouldn't harm others and I would only use the phrase in jest, however that was just my way of justifying the use of the phrase. Ultimately by disregarding/neglecting the situation, you make things worse. Fortunately, my perspective changed- and I now oppose the usage of the phrase. But can I change the worlds perspective?

Changing the world's perpective will be a difficult task. I feel that first hand experience would better affect individuals rather than typing a post and hoping the world will read it... Basically; I'm going to have change perceptions through interaction with other people, and so should you. But that is not what today's post is about... 

Today I'm going to be showing you how to counter the hurtfulness this phrase has with some facts that definitely make being gay- the BEST thing ever! It's inevitable that at some point we'll hear the phrase That's So Gay being said in an attempt to devalue or defame something or someone. The term is usually said with a negative connotation, but it should not mean that to you. Gay connotes/implies homosexual (ie attracted to the same gender), but if we're looking beyond it's definitive meaning- being gay can imply greater things too. For example:

• Both Angela Merkel and Hillary Clinton of Forbes' "The World's 100 Most Powerful Woman" list support gay rights. Not only is Merkel and Clinton claimed the most powerful woman in the world, Merkel is ranked 4th on Forbes' "The World's Most Powerful People" list, with Clinton coming in at 16th and Barack Obama being 1st on the list. That's So Gay: Having The WORLD'S most influential figures backing your rights...  

•  Apple Inc. (Makers of the Iphone, Ipod etc) are the largest publicly traded corporation in the world by market capitalization. Not only does the company openly support LGBT rights, but the CEO - Tim Cook, happens to be gay himself. He also is the world's highest paid CEO of 2012. That's So Gay: Being the WORLD'S highest paid CEO of the WORLD'S largest publicly traded corporation...

• Pink Money. This is the term that refers to the purchasing power of the gay community. In 1998 the Worldwide value of pink money was $550 Billion. In 2012, for America alone, the purchasing power is expected to increase to $790 Billion. (In the US gay people are, on average, economically advantaged with 28% of gay households reported to have an income of + $50 000 annually). That's So Gay: Belonging to a community that has so much financial power that companies cater to their needs in order to secure their support...

•  What would this post be without our straight allies? To name a few of the famous and straight celebrities on our side: Brad Pitt (actor), Pink (singer), Drew Barrymore (actress), Madonna (singer), Oprah Winfrey (talk show host), Steven Spielberg (film director), Ben Cohen (rugby player), Adam Levine (singer) and many more. Literally: Anne Hathaway, Colin Farrell, David Pocock (rugby player), Chris Kluwe (Footballer), Beyonce, JayZ, Josh Hutcherson, Jennifer Aniston, Cyndi Lauper, Hillary Duff, Rosario Dawson, Clint Eastwood, Charles Barkley, Kate Winslet, Sean Avery (hockey player), Daniel Radcliffe, Julianne Moore, Miley Cyrus, Sean Penn, Russel Simmons, Natalie Portman, George Clooney, Hudson Taylor (wrestler), Angelina Jolie, Kelly and Sharon Osbourne, Barbra Streisand, Justin Bieber, Joan Rivers, Desmond Tutu and Barack Obama. That's So Gay: Having most of Hollywood and a president support your rights (and your right to marry)...

• Lastly: The Successful Gay People of today's society. Matthew Mitcham (Olympic gold medalist), Ellen Degeneres (Famous Talk show host), Marc Jacobs (fashion designer), Anderson Cooper (News anchor), Wanda Sykes (comedian), Perez Hilton (blogger), Gareth Thomas (rugby player) and Elton John (Famous singer) are all iconic in their fields of work, and in the LGBT community. That's So Gay: Becoming successful in your field of work, and leaving a legacy behind you...

All of these points essentially show how much we are at an advantage by being apart of the gay community...That's So Gay!

Final Thought:

Looking above, it makes it difficult to believe that the phrase could ever be used in a negative sense. Next time you hear someone make this offensive remark- pause, and remember: Being gay is NEVER a bad thing. Revise one of the points above mentioned, and recite it to yourself every time someone makes the remark That's So Gay. It's about time we associate being gay with being advantaged. More importantly: if you're still in school and phrases like these are thrown around regularly: just remember that most of these people are inexperienced and uneducated about the gay community. People's perceptions are likely to change once they mature, I know mine did.  

THIS POST WOULD NOT BE POSSIBLE WITHOUT THE AMAZINGLY TALENTED CATHERINE TAIT, WHO NOT ONLY SUPPORTS ME FOR WHO I AM- BUT SUPPORTS THE WHOLE LGBT COMMUNITY AND OUR INDIVIDUALITY. THANK YOU CATHERINE: THE WORLD NEEDS MORE BEAUTIFUL PEOPLE SUCH AS YOURSELF!

(click her name to see her blog)

(To Find the references used simply click the links provided in the points)

"Labels" are not my name

The famous gay persona group the Village People;  disco novelties

 It was brought to my attention the other day that many closeted youth fear the social stigma in being associated as a homosexual. I often hear friends expressing their fear with being classified as a "poff" or a "fairy"- so I would like to set the record straight for all closeted youth out there.

Often homosexuality is affiliated with effeminate behavior in men and masculine behavior in woman. This is more a generalization than a fact. With the short amount of time that I have been exposed to the gay community I would actually say that- gay men are now associated more with perfect bodies and over emasculating behavior than anything else. Once again- I have made an assumption based on my experiences, it is not to say this is completely true. Regardless whether these stereotypes are authentic or valid- their importance to you should be null and void.

In todays society people are over-conscious with the image they portray. We are constantly in this struggle to fit in. It first occurs when we can not identify with our straight friends' attraction to the opposite sex, furthermore, as a teenager when our bodies change shape and take form. Then- as you come out, there is this undeniable pressure to associate yourself with certain labels. Labels which categorize you- based on your physical appearance and behavior. Therefore, once again, a need to fit in.

This all leads me to my main message. Being gay does not mean you have to enjoy dancing, wear make-up and listen to Lady Gaga. But if that is what you enjoy doing- don't let me, or anyone else, stop you from doing that. It is vital that you know- when you do come out it does not mean you have to live up to a label or a stereotype. Don't fear being gay because you dislike the stereotype associated with it- rather break that stereotype. On the same note, if you enjoy living up to the stereotype- there is nothing wrong with that! You can just be YOU!
 

Found this venn diagram funny

Final Thought:
"Fairy. Queen. Muscular. Fem. Camp. Masculine." Why change yourself for other people? We essentially come out the closet to live a more open and genuine life- not to change who we are. It is our differences that make us unique- not our similarities. Regardless whether you live up to the stereotype or not- you should not fear a life of honesty. Being gay will not change who you are. There is no need to label yourself or associate yourself with anything... Don't let the stereotype scare you back into the closet- it's darker back there anyways! 

Image Source: Google
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