2013

Every year brings new dimensions that enable us to see things within a kinder light, and with more perceptiveness. New Years are a gateway to what the future holds and to greater understanding as the story unfolds. With 2013 ahead- I've decided to take a hiatus from The Righteous Gay and my blogging in hopes that I may reconnect on a greater level with my story as it unfolds.

Looking back on 2012, I am left smiling in awe. Having come out on the 1st day of 2012, the entire year was a journey for myself and I was capable of sharing some of these experiences with you and all the viewers. When I came out, I never expected to start blogging and in turn help so many people. Blogging has been such a gratifying and self-therapeutic experience, and I have come to learn a lot about the gay community as well as about myself. I've come to find that even though the community has its many down-sides, it also has its many up-sides and that it's inevitably what you make of it. (A change in your perspective could be the difference between an ending and a new beginning.)

What I've learned about myself is that I can make a difference, as can you. You and I were both born into this world, and some day we will both leave it. How we fill our time here on earth may differ, but neither of us is more worthy of living than the other. The Righteous Gay became my platform/ my persona that ultimately helped me become more comfortable with my sexuality and allowed me to explore my dreams and hopes for the future, so it is with a heavy heart that I type this post, for it will be last for some time. But before I do take this break- I wanted to leave you all with this final message: 

Being gay is not the end of the world. It's not. You don't have to fit a stereotype if it's untrue to your being but you needn't feel ashamed if you do. Your sexuality, just as your color, creed and age doesn't make you a lesser human and it should never define you. (All these things will never detract from who you are as a person unless you let them.) Remember to never use your sexuality as an excuse or as a crutch and to never become a victim of others' misconceptions. Your sexuality should be a form of empowerment. But most importantly, remember it's not that serious. So you like someone of the same sex? So does every 1 in 10 people.  

 

Final Thought:
It may not seem thought provoking or inspirational- but my message is simple. It's clear. My greatest hope is that I may return to blogging at a later stage with a greater understanding, but before I get there- I must experience more. I wish you all the best as your story unfolds and thank you all for your kind words, support and love.

Sincerely
Gregory, The Righteous Gay
xxxxxxxxxxxxx

That's so GAY!

We've all heard it before. In all honesty, I am guilty of having used the phrase myself, and for this I am ashamed. Having attended an all boy school- colloquial phrases such as, "That's so gay", became a way of reasserting your "straightness". Or so I thought. Regardless whether the phrase is spoken in jest or with malicious intent, the phrase NEEDS TO STOP BEING SAID! Admittedly, this is not easy to achieve, so in response I have found a way to combat the affects one might feel when a phrase such as this one is said...

What if I told you That's So Gay could be considered a phrase of endearment? I'm not suggesting the community should adopt the phrase as some form of catch phrase, but we could change our perspective on the phrase itself. It's almost like Positive Negativity which I spoke of months back, just put into practice...

Before we begin, let me address/express my views on the phrase: That's So Gay. "That's So Gay" is a poorly coined phrase that I believe, indicates idiocy and the inability to articulate oneself (when using the phrase). Put more simply: It's So LAME. If I could have my way, the phrase would be wiped from this planet and using such a term would result in imprisonment... That's how opposed I am to it being said. I was once as naive as to believe that the term wouldn't harm others and I would only use the phrase in jest, however that was just my way of justifying the use of the phrase. Ultimately by disregarding/neglecting the situation, you make things worse. Fortunately, my perspective changed- and I now oppose the usage of the phrase. But can I change the worlds perspective?

Changing the world's perpective will be a difficult task. I feel that first hand experience would better affect individuals rather than typing a post and hoping the world will read it... Basically; I'm going to have change perceptions through interaction with other people, and so should you. But that is not what today's post is about... 

Today I'm going to be showing you how to counter the hurtfulness this phrase has with some facts that definitely make being gay- the BEST thing ever! It's inevitable that at some point we'll hear the phrase That's So Gay being said in an attempt to devalue or defame something or someone. The term is usually said with a negative connotation, but it should not mean that to you. Gay connotes/implies homosexual (ie attracted to the same gender), but if we're looking beyond it's definitive meaning- being gay can imply greater things too. For example:

• Both Angela Merkel and Hillary Clinton of Forbes' "The World's 100 Most Powerful Woman" list support gay rights. Not only is Merkel and Clinton claimed the most powerful woman in the world, Merkel is ranked 4th on Forbes' "The World's Most Powerful People" list, with Clinton coming in at 16th and Barack Obama being 1st on the list. That's So Gay: Having The WORLD'S most influential figures backing your rights...  

•  Apple Inc. (Makers of the Iphone, Ipod etc) are the largest publicly traded corporation in the world by market capitalization. Not only does the company openly support LGBT rights, but the CEO - Tim Cook, happens to be gay himself. He also is the world's highest paid CEO of 2012. That's So Gay: Being the WORLD'S highest paid CEO of the WORLD'S largest publicly traded corporation...

• Pink Money. This is the term that refers to the purchasing power of the gay community. In 1998 the Worldwide value of pink money was $550 Billion. In 2012, for America alone, the purchasing power is expected to increase to $790 Billion. (In the US gay people are, on average, economically advantaged with 28% of gay households reported to have an income of + $50 000 annually). That's So Gay: Belonging to a community that has so much financial power that companies cater to their needs in order to secure their support...

•  What would this post be without our straight allies? To name a few of the famous and straight celebrities on our side: Brad Pitt (actor), Pink (singer), Drew Barrymore (actress), Madonna (singer), Oprah Winfrey (talk show host), Steven Spielberg (film director), Ben Cohen (rugby player), Adam Levine (singer) and many more. Literally: Anne Hathaway, Colin Farrell, David Pocock (rugby player), Chris Kluwe (Footballer), Beyonce, JayZ, Josh Hutcherson, Jennifer Aniston, Cyndi Lauper, Hillary Duff, Rosario Dawson, Clint Eastwood, Charles Barkley, Kate Winslet, Sean Avery (hockey player), Daniel Radcliffe, Julianne Moore, Miley Cyrus, Sean Penn, Russel Simmons, Natalie Portman, George Clooney, Hudson Taylor (wrestler), Angelina Jolie, Kelly and Sharon Osbourne, Barbra Streisand, Justin Bieber, Joan Rivers, Desmond Tutu and Barack Obama. That's So Gay: Having most of Hollywood and a president support your rights (and your right to marry)...

• Lastly: The Successful Gay People of today's society. Matthew Mitcham (Olympic gold medalist), Ellen Degeneres (Famous Talk show host), Marc Jacobs (fashion designer), Anderson Cooper (News anchor), Wanda Sykes (comedian), Perez Hilton (blogger), Gareth Thomas (rugby player) and Elton John (Famous singer) are all iconic in their fields of work, and in the LGBT community. That's So Gay: Becoming successful in your field of work, and leaving a legacy behind you...

All of these points essentially show how much we are at an advantage by being apart of the gay community...That's So Gay!

Final Thought:

Looking above, it makes it difficult to believe that the phrase could ever be used in a negative sense. Next time you hear someone make this offensive remark- pause, and remember: Being gay is NEVER a bad thing. Revise one of the points above mentioned, and recite it to yourself every time someone makes the remark That's So Gay. It's about time we associate being gay with being advantaged. More importantly: if you're still in school and phrases like these are thrown around regularly: just remember that most of these people are inexperienced and uneducated about the gay community. People's perceptions are likely to change once they mature, I know mine did.  

THIS POST WOULD NOT BE POSSIBLE WITHOUT THE AMAZINGLY TALENTED CATHERINE TAIT, WHO NOT ONLY SUPPORTS ME FOR WHO I AM- BUT SUPPORTS THE WHOLE LGBT COMMUNITY AND OUR INDIVIDUALITY. THANK YOU CATHERINE: THE WORLD NEEDS MORE BEAUTIFUL PEOPLE SUCH AS YOURSELF!

(click her name to see her blog)

(To Find the references used simply click the links provided in the points)

This is for you

Recently there has been letters from fathers to their sons that have been making their rounds on the Twittersphere and other social networking sites. The initial letter that sparked all of this was a letter James (a gay individual) received from his father, in which his father expressed that he had decided to disown James as a son (and as a result disassociate himself from James). This letter sparked 2 other letters, one from a heterosexual father to his hypothetically gay son and the other from a gay father to his two adoptive sons. It should be rather indicative that a letter would be appropriate for today's post. So here goes:

To All My Viewers

The recent letters that fathers have written to their sons has inspired me to leave a message to you to show my admiration for you in a more personal capacity. Coming to terms with your sexuality is a difficult process, and seldom are you ever congratulated for the courage, patience and perseverance you put in. Well this is my congratulations to you.

I realize life may seem tough at the moment. Looking around there's constant battles. Battles regarding the position homosexuals occupy in modern day society, whether it's marriage equality, adoption rights or even decriminalizing homosexuality. Living in a conservative community myself, I know that being authentic to oneself is much easier said than done, but isn't impossible. Personally, I have contemplated thoughts of suicide, running away and leaving everything I have behind. At that time, anything seemed better than confronting my sexuality and the attraction to members of the same sex. I had spent countless nights crying myself to sleep as thoughts of inadequacy filled my head; never getting to fulfill the role I believed I was meant to fulfill. Then came my shame. My shame in feeling the emotions I felt. I tried to suppress the thoughts and to dismiss the truth- but it all caught up with me eventually.

In pursuing this journey you may find yourself back at the starting line in many aspects of your life, but you'll find yourself at the beginning with other people just as yourself. These are the people who have cried at night with you- who felt just as alone as you did- who were ready to leave, yet here you stand, united. It's all trial and error, and you needn't feel ashamed of the mistakes you've made. Never think you're worthless or inadequate, regardless of what other peoples opinions are. I promise you a day will come, where you will look back and be thankful for the choice you made. The hurt and anger you feel now will dissipate as you begin to live your life the way your heart intended to live it. 

Finally, I want you to know that you are never alone. There's one person you can always rely on, and that person is you. As cliche` as it may sound, Mariah Carey says it best, "So when you feel like hope is gone look inside you and be strong, and you'll finally see the truth, that a hero lies in you." It's important you always remember that- THAT A HERO LIES IN YOU.

I wish you all the best on your journeys

Yours  sincerely- Greg 

Final Thought:
The letter may seem irrelevant to many of you yet to some it might speak great volumes. My intention was to let you know that all these emotions you might be experiencing are not irregular. Regardless your age, gender, race and religion- coming out is an emotional experience. So if you too sit up at night and cry till your tear ducts can't anymore, if you constantly thinking about how inadequate you think you are , even if you read this letter and wished you weren't gay- this is for you... No one said it would be easy- they said it'd be worth it. AND IT WILL BE!



If you have any personal questions or you need someone to talk to- do not hesitate to email me (gregodemi@gmail.com). I keep my emails separate from the blog, private.  
 

Reasons I LOVE Being Gay

Admittedly, the posts this month have not been as effective/ moving as last month's. So today I have decided I would post something fun to read and, perhaps, more entertaining than before. I have composed a list. This list is entitled "Top Ten Reasons I LOVE Being Gay". It's rather self explanatory- but for those who do not follow- allow me to explain. This list is made up of reasons why I enjoy being homosexual... I cannot explain- rather read it! Your list may differ- but here are my reasons(starting from 10 working up to 1):

10.

Appreciation for both sexes. It would go without saying that I find men attractive- but I can also appreciate attractive woman. Many straight men are less fortunate in the sense that even if they believe another man is good-looking- they wouldn't dare admit it. Being gay allows me to say "You're good-looking" to both guys and girls without having to worry what is thought of me.

 

This Armani advert is a great example

9.

Ability to mock gays. I always say "the least gay thing I do- is allow my dog to pick out my shirts." This is just one of many jokes I make regarding my sexuality. It's great being able to joke about my sexuality- it often relieves tension in defensive conversations and can lighten a mood very easily. The reason this is only limited to gays is because if anyone else made these remarks- they might seem homophobic or rude. We, on the other hand, are just being comedic!

8.

Societal Pressure Relief. The term I have given to my 8th reason. "Queue the song Little Boxes by Malvina Reynolds." Societal Pressure Relief refers to no longer having to fit a norm. Being gay means- you no longer have the pressure to find a perfect wife (or for some husband) ,start a family, live in a perfect house and keep up with Jones'. Although- you could still do all above- it is no longer EXPECTED of you.

The "perfect" family

7.

Celebrity support. Ever stopped and thought- Charlize Theron supports my decision to marry someone of the same sex? Or perhaps that the president of America does too? It's so refreshing to know that Josh Hutcherson, the cute guy from The Hunger Games, is campaigning for people such as myself. With names such as: Brad Pitt, Angelina Jolie, Drew Barrymore, Colin Farrell, Anne Hathaway and many more supporting gay rights- it's hard to not to boast!

Josh Hutcherson at 2012 GLAAD awards

   

Drew Barrymore for Marriage Equality

6.

Keeping in shape. It might seem contradictory- but being apart of the gay community does keep me in shape. Many gay men are in good physical shape- this just makes me more conscious of leading a healthier lifestyle than before. Although this topic is debatable- I still exercise on a regular basis- which is only beneficial for myself. Hence why it has made its place on this list.

5.

Positive Negativity. I have already mentioned it in a previous post. My 5th reason is Positive Negativity- letting "your hater be your motivator". It's inevitable that you will encounter some malicious people out their who will condemn you for being who you are- this is when you smile in knowing it will only feed your motivation and progression. I have gotten some nasty comments since coming out- they've just helped me grow into a better person!

4.

Meeting new friends. One of the scariest thoughts I had when coming out- was the thought of loosing all my friends. The reality is you probably might loose some friends- but on your journey you will come to realise that many of your friendships have strengthened. In fact friends whom you never thought would cope with the issue could positively surprise you! You will also meet new people and experience new friendships! 

  

3.

Being part of a cause. I love this reason. Majority of you have experienced a history lesson sometime in your life- going back in time and learning about defining moments- such as movements, riots and protests all done for a greater cause. Being gay automatically makes you part of a cause. We all play a part in society- and we all have the ability to change perspectives or even teach and help others about homosexuality. I think it's rather cool- writing history- as we make progression in the world regarding gay rights. 

   

Image taken: Stonewall Riots

2.

Loving who you want. The second reason I love being gay- is because I get to love who I want...Having the choice to love someone genuinely- with no pretense. Being gay means I get to experience my journey through life with another man, whom I love, beside me. This is probably the top of everyone's list...    

 

1.

Being myself. I know it might sound lame- but it is honestly my top reason. Getting to live a life of being honest with my family, and friends. The reason this is more important to me than love- is because I find you have to love yourself before you can love another. By that I mean accepting yourself for who you are... The best reason to be gay- is getting to live life genuinely!

Final Thought:
If you're still closeted and found yourself reading this list- my message to you would be; being gay has its negatives BUT it certainly has its positives too. If being gay was as horrible as many make it out to be- then why do so many still come out and live openly? It's easy to focus on the negatives, rather think of your own list! It needn't be 10 reasons- it could be one strong reason. At the end of the day- you should be conscious of why you came out or plan on doing so. There are so many reasons to love who you are- all you have to do is start looking...

Image Source: Google; Nobody Knows the Last of Me Blog
(Should any of the images belong to you- and you wish to have them removed- please notify The Righteous Gay)


Have a FABULOUS day. (Another great thing about being gay- using words like fabulous!)