2013

Every year brings new dimensions that enable us to see things within a kinder light, and with more perceptiveness. New Years are a gateway to what the future holds and to greater understanding as the story unfolds. With 2013 ahead- I've decided to take a hiatus from The Righteous Gay and my blogging in hopes that I may reconnect on a greater level with my story as it unfolds.

Looking back on 2012, I am left smiling in awe. Having come out on the 1st day of 2012, the entire year was a journey for myself and I was capable of sharing some of these experiences with you and all the viewers. When I came out, I never expected to start blogging and in turn help so many people. Blogging has been such a gratifying and self-therapeutic experience, and I have come to learn a lot about the gay community as well as about myself. I've come to find that even though the community has its many down-sides, it also has its many up-sides and that it's inevitably what you make of it. (A change in your perspective could be the difference between an ending and a new beginning.)

What I've learned about myself is that I can make a difference, as can you. You and I were both born into this world, and some day we will both leave it. How we fill our time here on earth may differ, but neither of us is more worthy of living than the other. The Righteous Gay became my platform/ my persona that ultimately helped me become more comfortable with my sexuality and allowed me to explore my dreams and hopes for the future, so it is with a heavy heart that I type this post, for it will be last for some time. But before I do take this break- I wanted to leave you all with this final message: 

Being gay is not the end of the world. It's not. You don't have to fit a stereotype if it's untrue to your being but you needn't feel ashamed if you do. Your sexuality, just as your color, creed and age doesn't make you a lesser human and it should never define you. (All these things will never detract from who you are as a person unless you let them.) Remember to never use your sexuality as an excuse or as a crutch and to never become a victim of others' misconceptions. Your sexuality should be a form of empowerment. But most importantly, remember it's not that serious. So you like someone of the same sex? So does every 1 in 10 people.  

 

Final Thought:
It may not seem thought provoking or inspirational- but my message is simple. It's clear. My greatest hope is that I may return to blogging at a later stage with a greater understanding, but before I get there- I must experience more. I wish you all the best as your story unfolds and thank you all for your kind words, support and love.

Sincerely
Gregory, The Righteous Gay
xxxxxxxxxxxxx

Oscar Pistorius: The Golden Boy

80 000 cheers makes it impossible to deny that Oscar Pistorius, the South African blade runner, has grown to become a household name and a Paralympic ambassador - but is he more than just an advocate for the handicapped?

With the recent Paralympic Games being held in London - I have been captivated by all these inspiring athletes and their incredible stories, but none more so than Oscar Pistorius. Oscar Pistorius was born November 22, 1986 without a fibula in each of his legs. It was decided that Oscar's legs would be amputated below the knees before he learnt to walk- as this would allow greater receptivity in mobility later on in life, and evidently prove to be his strength rather than his weakness. Oscar initially played rugby, water polo and tennis in Pretoria Boys High School (the highschool I too attended), and it was only after a rugby injury that Oscar began running, for rehabilitation. The rest is, as they say, history... Currently Oscar holds the world record for the T44 400m, and also the T44 4x100m along with his fellow team mates. Oscar is also the ONLY double leg amputee EVER to compete on the Olympic track and make the Olympic final.

So how does this incredible athlete relate to being gay?

After watching the Paralympic games one evening I realized that being handicapped can be likened to being homosexual in many ways. (KEEP READING!) Not only are both handicapped people and homosexuals treated as second hand citizens, but we both have an internal obstacle to overcome. Just as Oscar, and many other disabled athletes had to overcome their impairments, we as homosexuals have to overcome our internalized fear of being who we are. In no way am I trivializing being either handicapped or homosexual - I am just comparing the struggles we both endure, just as our struggles have been compared to many other civil rights movements. This leads me to the relevance of Oscar Pistorius and his story on a blog intending to help gay youth come to terms with their sexuality. Oscar was born without a fibula in each leg and yet it hasn't prevented him from running, let alone walking. Being a double leg amputee, it would go without saying that Oscar has had a great amount of obstacles to overcome, not only physically but mentally too. Yet, here he stands, a handicapped athlete, challenging able bodied athletes at the sport.

Oscar at 2012 Olympic Games

So we're born gay, just as Oscar was born without fibulae, and here we stand confronted with this huge life obstacle we call sexuality, which in many ways scares us just as much as a physical defect. What do we do? We do what Oscar Pistorius has done, we make our weakness our strength. Oscar may be an advocate for The Paralympics, but he represents something far greater! Oscar represents the outcome of dedication, appreciation and passion, all things we as homosexuals need to adopt. Dedicate yourself to making your environment an LGBT friendlier one. Appreciate who you are, and this life you've been given- do so by making the most of every moment. Lastly, what ever you do- do so with passion. Passion is what drives you to obtain the unobtainable and achieve the impossible. Passion will guide you to what you heart desires.



Final Thought:
Regardless whether you agree that homosexuality and being handicapped are similar or not, you cannot deny that Oscar Pistorius has made the most of what he has. You are in no way different to Oscar, and there is nothing you cannot achieve. Oscar looked beyond the ability to walk- just as you should look beyond the obstacle of coming out. Dream big. Dream of an accepting world, living with the person you love and being authentic to yourself. If you can dream it, it's yours for the taking!

Oscar will be running his final race this evening in The London Paralympic games. I wish him all the best in the 400m race. He has definitely reshaped the way I see handicapped people, as well as myself!  

I'd like to show people that if you put the hard work in and you believe in yourself, then you can do whatever you want to. - OSCAR PISTORIUS

This is for you

Recently there has been letters from fathers to their sons that have been making their rounds on the Twittersphere and other social networking sites. The initial letter that sparked all of this was a letter James (a gay individual) received from his father, in which his father expressed that he had decided to disown James as a son (and as a result disassociate himself from James). This letter sparked 2 other letters, one from a heterosexual father to his hypothetically gay son and the other from a gay father to his two adoptive sons. It should be rather indicative that a letter would be appropriate for today's post. So here goes:

To All My Viewers

The recent letters that fathers have written to their sons has inspired me to leave a message to you to show my admiration for you in a more personal capacity. Coming to terms with your sexuality is a difficult process, and seldom are you ever congratulated for the courage, patience and perseverance you put in. Well this is my congratulations to you.

I realize life may seem tough at the moment. Looking around there's constant battles. Battles regarding the position homosexuals occupy in modern day society, whether it's marriage equality, adoption rights or even decriminalizing homosexuality. Living in a conservative community myself, I know that being authentic to oneself is much easier said than done, but isn't impossible. Personally, I have contemplated thoughts of suicide, running away and leaving everything I have behind. At that time, anything seemed better than confronting my sexuality and the attraction to members of the same sex. I had spent countless nights crying myself to sleep as thoughts of inadequacy filled my head; never getting to fulfill the role I believed I was meant to fulfill. Then came my shame. My shame in feeling the emotions I felt. I tried to suppress the thoughts and to dismiss the truth- but it all caught up with me eventually.

In pursuing this journey you may find yourself back at the starting line in many aspects of your life, but you'll find yourself at the beginning with other people just as yourself. These are the people who have cried at night with you- who felt just as alone as you did- who were ready to leave, yet here you stand, united. It's all trial and error, and you needn't feel ashamed of the mistakes you've made. Never think you're worthless or inadequate, regardless of what other peoples opinions are. I promise you a day will come, where you will look back and be thankful for the choice you made. The hurt and anger you feel now will dissipate as you begin to live your life the way your heart intended to live it. 

Finally, I want you to know that you are never alone. There's one person you can always rely on, and that person is you. As cliche` as it may sound, Mariah Carey says it best, "So when you feel like hope is gone look inside you and be strong, and you'll finally see the truth, that a hero lies in you." It's important you always remember that- THAT A HERO LIES IN YOU.

I wish you all the best on your journeys

Yours  sincerely- Greg 

Final Thought:
The letter may seem irrelevant to many of you yet to some it might speak great volumes. My intention was to let you know that all these emotions you might be experiencing are not irregular. Regardless your age, gender, race and religion- coming out is an emotional experience. So if you too sit up at night and cry till your tear ducts can't anymore, if you constantly thinking about how inadequate you think you are , even if you read this letter and wished you weren't gay- this is for you... No one said it would be easy- they said it'd be worth it. AND IT WILL BE!



If you have any personal questions or you need someone to talk to- do not hesitate to email me (gregodemi@gmail.com). I keep my emails separate from the blog, private.  
 

Mandela Day

It's one of the worlds' most iconic hero's birthday today. Nelson Mandela. For the very few of you that do not know Mandela, you can read up about him in this bio on wikipedia. Nelson Mandela is a man I am largely inspired by (if you do not believe me- look to the top right hand corner and you will find a quote by him). Not only was he an anti-apartheid activist, but he also fought for equality. Equality in it's true form- meaning no exclusions of the minorities.

On a day such as today, which was declared International Mandela Day by the United Nations in 2009, I think it is important we recognize the struggles some endure for the greater good, just as Mandela did. Also it is important we share our support for those who are still in the fight today. There are still many countries where equality is a distant dream- where woman, gays and transgenders still do not have rights. For the people of these countries- freedom and equality aren't as prevalent, and it is important we show our support- even if it is words of reassurance or signing your name to a petition. And although today is a day of celebration we need to look back and acknowledge why we are where we are today, and show our appreciation.


In the image depicted above the words "Education is the most powerful weapon which you can use to change the world." are written. I often think that homophobic people fear us due to their lack of understanding. We essentially become teachers when we come out, which leads me to another quote of Mandela...

"If you want to make peace with your enemy, you have to work with your enemy." If we ever expect homophobic people to learn about and understand us- we have to help them understand/learn. Although this may seem "easier said than done" it does not mean it is impossible. I remind you of Mary Griffith, a homophobic mother, who began to learn more about homosexuality after her gay sons death. It may be difficult but it is not impossible.


Final Thought:

Nelson Mandela fought for freedom in a country were many had given up on it. Often, it may feel as though your'e alone, but it's only when you stand up that you begin to see the others who are there with you. 18th of July is not only Mandela's birthday- it is a day to inspire others to stand up and fight for equality. It is important we do not accept defeat- rather get involved. Remember " There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that people won't feel insecure around you." (-Nelson Mandela)

HAPPY BIRTHDAY MADIBA! 

All images were taken from Google- should any belong to you and you wish to have them removed please notify The Righteous Gay immediately.