Mandela Day

It's one of the worlds' most iconic hero's birthday today. Nelson Mandela. For the very few of you that do not know Mandela, you can read up about him in this bio on wikipedia. Nelson Mandela is a man I am largely inspired by (if you do not believe me- look to the top right hand corner and you will find a quote by him). Not only was he an anti-apartheid activist, but he also fought for equality. Equality in it's true form- meaning no exclusions of the minorities.

On a day such as today, which was declared International Mandela Day by the United Nations in 2009, I think it is important we recognize the struggles some endure for the greater good, just as Mandela did. Also it is important we share our support for those who are still in the fight today. There are still many countries where equality is a distant dream- where woman, gays and transgenders still do not have rights. For the people of these countries- freedom and equality aren't as prevalent, and it is important we show our support- even if it is words of reassurance or signing your name to a petition. And although today is a day of celebration we need to look back and acknowledge why we are where we are today, and show our appreciation.


In the image depicted above the words "Education is the most powerful weapon which you can use to change the world." are written. I often think that homophobic people fear us due to their lack of understanding. We essentially become teachers when we come out, which leads me to another quote of Mandela...

"If you want to make peace with your enemy, you have to work with your enemy." If we ever expect homophobic people to learn about and understand us- we have to help them understand/learn. Although this may seem "easier said than done" it does not mean it is impossible. I remind you of Mary Griffith, a homophobic mother, who began to learn more about homosexuality after her gay sons death. It may be difficult but it is not impossible.


Final Thought:

Nelson Mandela fought for freedom in a country were many had given up on it. Often, it may feel as though your'e alone, but it's only when you stand up that you begin to see the others who are there with you. 18th of July is not only Mandela's birthday- it is a day to inspire others to stand up and fight for equality. It is important we do not accept defeat- rather get involved. Remember " There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that people won't feel insecure around you." (-Nelson Mandela)

HAPPY BIRTHDAY MADIBA! 

All images were taken from Google- should any belong to you and you wish to have them removed please notify The Righteous Gay immediately.

Frequently Asked Questions About Homosexuality

Almost a month ago I was emailed by a gentleman struggling to come to terms with his sexuality. He had seen my blog and decided to email me some questions he had regarding homosexuality. After exchanging many emails between one another the gentleman offered to allow me to use our conversation in future posts to aid others who had similar questions as he did. This offer is what led me to the idea for a post: Frequently Asked Questions About Homosexuality. 

What I have decided on is that I will try answer one question per post. This way I can ensure not to omit any information regarding the question at hand- also it will allow me to include more external references without overloading you with information. I would also like to take this time to invite you to submit any questions you have regarding homosexuality. It is also important that I notify all readers that these answers will be of personal perspective and from personal experience. It therefore cannot necessarily be deemed correct but I can promise to share as much insight on the topic being discussed.

"HOW DO I KNOW IF I AM HOMOSEXUAL?"

So I've decided to start with a question that most gay people start their journeys with. First let me define homosexuality. Homosexuality is sexual attraction to persons of the same sex. Although the definition seems rather simple- knowing whether you are homosexual can be a complicating situation. I express my finding of my sexuality as this: I always knew I was attracted to other men, it is something I can remember from around the ages of 10/11, but I could only label or define it as homosexuality at a later stage of my life. 

You may be reading that and thinking "but how did you know?" I think some people can tell from earlier stages than others whether they are gay, but sometimes we have an issue acknowledging/interpreting this information. It starts with attraction. As a child I could always appreciate the attractiveness of other guys more than with girls. Personally at the time I thought nothing of it- but I knew that there was some attraction present. Through out my adolescence I found myself watching pornographic videos as many other teenagers do. (You will have to excuse my vulgarity) I noticed that I was more sexually drawn to the males anatomy than the females. In actual fact, the comparison was so out of proportion that I could just watch the man. It was then that I began watching gay pornography. Note: I am not suggesting everyone download pornographic videos- I am simply stating my personal experience. 

I would say there is a possibility you are homosexual if you do in fact experience attraction to members of the same sex. The thing about sexuality is that it boils down to preference - tests cannot be conducted to determine your sexuality, it is something you should to determine on your own. If you do believe there is a possibility you are homosexual then it is important you do not allow external factors affect you. Regardless whether it is legal or socially accepted your sexuality is something you cannot change. Do not dismiss your emotions of same-sex attraction simply because you are afraid to associate with being gay. (Note: I am not saying come out- one can identify as gay without having to notify anyone).

It doesn't necessarily mean you are gay because you have feelings for friends of the same sex or because you have had a gay dream- I feel these aren't effective enough indicators. I believe a good indicator is whether you fantasize about members of the same sex. (For example- during masturbation). Men who fantasize about other men during masturbation are more likely to be homosexual than heterosexual. This could be because fantasizing can be directly traced to our desires.   

Another observation I have made is that many people whom experience attraction for members of the same sex usually fear the association with being labeled gay. (Basically they are aware of their attraction but are too conflicted to identify as homosexual)  I actually have addressed this issue in another post "Labels" Are Not My Name . If you find yourself in a similar situation it is important you understand that identifying as gay shouldn't mean you have to live up to a stereotype, also your attraction to members of the same sex isn't ever likely to disappear. Focus on learning to accept your true sexuality rather than trying to dismiss it.   

Final Thought:

"How do I know if I am homosexual?" is a difficult question to answer. I believe the only answer to this question lies within yourself. Do not ask yourself "Do I WANT to be homosexual?", rather approach it more open-minded "Am I sexually attracted to members of the same sex?". When you ask yourself this question think only of the answer. There is no rush to define your sexuality, to identify as gay or straight, so take your time. Remember attraction to members of the same sex is not something you can dismiss or forget about (your sexuality will never leave you).

For more information visit this wiki site (specifically their Tips and Warnings). This might further help you answer your question.

If you have any questions or issues regarding your sexuality email me @ gregodemi@gmail.com.

         

Gays Ontop

The idea for today's post came to me whilst watching The Graham Norton show. I realized that my two favorite talk show hosts were both gay. One being Graham Norton, obviously, and the other being Ellen Degeneres! After that I thought to myself; not many talk shows are as successful (and funny) as Ellen's and Graham's shows. So I decided to investigate...

I've already mentioned how important it is that we expose our youth to successful gay role models  in a previous post entitled The Gay 5. It is vital to have some form of guidance when growing up - but it's even more important to realize what we as people are capable of, regardless of our sexuality! The youth are constantly being told "It gets better"- and that is true, but we should also be saying "Don't stop dreaming". Being gay does not disable you from achieving success.


Although there are hundreds of icons worth mentioning, especially within the field of arts (directing, acting and so on), I want to try expose the audience to different openly gay figures out there. Bare in mind that many successful businessmen/women do not disclose their sexuality to the public- so there are probably hundreds more than actually documented. Let me begin with the sportsman previously mentioned in Sport GAYmes - Matthew Mitcham.

Matthew Mitcham is the best sports figure to mention in this post. Mitcham is the 2008 Olympic champion in the 10m platform(diving). Not only is he the only Australian diver to do so since 1924, but he also received the highest single-dive score in OLYMPIC history. If that doesn't set him above the rest- I don't know what could! Mitcham proves that being a successful sportsman has nothing to do with sexuality.

Matthew Mitcham says, "I DO" for marriage equality (Australia)

All of you should be familiar with the fashion brand Louis Vuitton (LV). It's relevance? Marc Jacobs! Jacobs has been the creative director of the French design house (LV) since 1997, and is the head designer of Marc Jacobs. He was part of Times' 2010 "100 Most Influential People in the World" list and also ranked 12th on Out Magazines 2012 "50 Most Powerful Gay Men and Women in America" list. Good at what he does is an understatement- Marc is a designing mogul!

Marc Jacobs

  
Besides fashion there are also gays in charge in the corporate world. Ever heard of Apple products? Of coarse you have! Most of you probably own an iphone, imac or ipod. Whether you own all of these products or none- you would be glad to know that the CEO of Apple, Tim Cook, is a gay man. That means that Cook is in charge of the worlds most valuable company! Not only is Cook the top of Out Magazines 2012 "50 Most Powerful Gay Men and Women in America" list- he is also the highest paid CEO in the WORLD.

Tim Cook in front of a LGBT Apple Logo

Moving onto other news, Anderson Cooper has recently publicly announced he's gay. (Hope you noticed what I did there!) Anderson Cooper is the primary anchor of the CNN's Anderson Cooper 360° show. Not only does he have his own show- but Cooper has won numerous awards for his reporting including Emmy Awards and the National Order of Honour and Merit award for his reporting on the 2010 Haiti earthquake.

Anderson Cooper

Besides those mentioned above- there are still many other successful gays in today's society! The reason so many gay men and women are as successful as they are is simply due to the fact that their sexuality does not incapacitate them from achieving success. Bayard Rustin (Civil Rights activist), Perez Hilton (blogger), SIR Elton John (musician), Wanda Sykes (comedian), Lady Gaga (musician) and Walt Disney Studios chairman- Rich Ross are only some of the names among many that are successful in their field of work.

Above Left: Bayard Rustin. Above Right: Perez Hilton. Above: Wanda Sykes.

Final Thought:
Your sexuality does not define you as a person- so why should it determine you success? It is essential you know that identifying as gay does not limit your capabilities in any way. Do not allow others opinions to prevent you from achieving what it is you wish to achieve. Remember- success does not imply wealthy and famous. Success is accomplishing something you aim to do. More importantly stay ambitious and keep dreaming...

"Normal is not something to aspire to, it's something to get away from" - Jody Foster    

SHOULD ANY OF THESE IMAGES BELONG TO YOU- AND YOU WISH TO HAVE THEM REMOVED- PLEASE NOTIFY THE RIGHTEOUS GAY IMMEDIATELY!

Note: Click to view external links at own risk- The Righteous Gay will not be held accountable.

That's all for today folks!

                                                                                      ...lol                     

Gay to Stay

Alright- I know it has been a while. My computer was in computer hospital and I have been working on a post that is still incomplete. Ultimately I have decided to share a more shorter post that admittedly is not entirely my own... My aim is to expose the audience to what is and has always been here before. Gay love.

The inspiration behind my post today was found in another blog entitled Finding Myself. I stumbled across this blog upon Googling "Vintage Gay Couple Photos" which I'd advise you to do sometime when you are bored! What surprised me the most was that there were more photos than I had expected of gay couples. I understand many gay men and women have walked this land before I- but I did not expect it to be as documented!

One thing that has stood the test of time is love. Whether it be in a different time, place or manner - we all love. Another quality that sets love above the rest is that it does not discriminate against age, gender, race, religion or appearance. It can be found in the most unexpected places...

Why discuss love on a blog that aims to help people come to terms with their sexuality? It's simple really. Love is something everyone can look forward too. Regardless your sexuality- love is an emotion everyone can experience. What better than to expose my audience to a love similar to theirs? Allow me to take you back in time- where a love like yours too existed... Although it was tougher to live openly in those days, these couples did not deny themselves the opportunity to find REAL love. Here are some photos from back in time:

England: 1875

New York: 1900

Europe: 1906

England: Between 1914 - 1918

Above is a WWI couple.

Unknown: 1925

Hollow Falls, Virginia: Late 1920's

Above is the first gay couple allowed legal rights to adopt children.

Berlin, Germany: 1930

London, England: 1932

Long Island, New York: 1941

America: Mid 1940's

London, England : 1945

Above picture was taken at "VJ" Day- known as the day that Japan surrendered to the Allies at the end of WWII.

New England: 1948

Lesbian Couple!! Unknown: 1950's

Caldwell, Idaho: 1955

Final thought:

Although it may seem like homosexuality is a new concept to modern society, it is not. Homosexuality dates centuries back, further than the first photo in this post! It will take a considerable amount of years before society is more accepting of homosexuality- but this should not stop you from finding true love... I cannot begin to imagine the scrutiny these couples have endured- yet all of that seems meaningless when I look at these photos. Love is an emotion that has stood the test of time- it is stronger than all else. To find a love so genuine, so real is more validating and liberating than having to live a life of lies and deception. Never deny yourself the opportunity to find true love...   

** Check out more photos at Finding Myself and GAYTWOGETHER **

Important Notice: Should any of these photos belong to you and you wish to have them removed- please notify The Righteous Gay immediately!

 

Picture This Again: Update

Image Posted by Israel Defense Forces onto Facebook with the caption "It's Pride Month. Did you know that the IDF treats all of its soldiers equally?"

Seeing as it is a new month- I thought it would be the perfect time to do an update on a previous post! To keep "time-based posts" relevant I will use updates to bring them up-to-date. This way- I can ensure a long relationship with current viewers and myself! (Smiles)

Picture This was a post were I referred readers to blogs depicting gay couples. I spoke of how viewing blogs such as them- reassured me about my decision to come out, how they inspired me and how they reassured me of who I am. Now that I am openly gay- I still spend copious amounts of time viewing these sites. Day-dreaming. Imagining...

At first, I found myself envious of the fact that all these people photographed had found love. I soon realized that it was not envy that brought me back- rather the inspiration I found in them. When I stumble across a photo like this:

I begin to wonder what possibilities await... The thought that love like this exists leaves me excited. It leaves me interested in life and all the beauties it has to offer.


Perhaps you won't take as much as I do from these sites, regardless, you should definitely check them out! I have started my own tumblr account where I blog and reblog the photos that I find refreshing! The blog is also called The Righteous Gay except the address is http://therighteousgay.tumblr.com/

 Personally, I have found something special in each of these sites. Go ahead and make your day...  

• Love has no Limits
• Love is so cute
• It's Time
• Don't Back Down Project
• Gay Kissed and Love
• Gay Male Love
• Nobody Know the Last of Me (My personal favorite!) 

(These sites may contain nudity- If you click on a link- do so at your own risk. The Righteous Gay will not be held accountable. I will mention that the nudity is minimal and done in tasteful manner- if there is any)

You can view the Facebook page depicting the Israeli soldiers here.


One last one for all you viewers..

Maybe two...

SHOULD ANY OF THESE IMAGES BELONG TO YOU- AND YOU WISH TO HAVE THEM REMOVED. PLEASE NOTIFY THE RIGHTEOUS GAY IMMEDIATELY @ gregodemi@gmail.com.

"Labels" are not my name

The famous gay persona group the Village People;  disco novelties

 It was brought to my attention the other day that many closeted youth fear the social stigma in being associated as a homosexual. I often hear friends expressing their fear with being classified as a "poff" or a "fairy"- so I would like to set the record straight for all closeted youth out there.

Often homosexuality is affiliated with effeminate behavior in men and masculine behavior in woman. This is more a generalization than a fact. With the short amount of time that I have been exposed to the gay community I would actually say that- gay men are now associated more with perfect bodies and over emasculating behavior than anything else. Once again- I have made an assumption based on my experiences, it is not to say this is completely true. Regardless whether these stereotypes are authentic or valid- their importance to you should be null and void.

In todays society people are over-conscious with the image they portray. We are constantly in this struggle to fit in. It first occurs when we can not identify with our straight friends' attraction to the opposite sex, furthermore, as a teenager when our bodies change shape and take form. Then- as you come out, there is this undeniable pressure to associate yourself with certain labels. Labels which categorize you- based on your physical appearance and behavior. Therefore, once again, a need to fit in.

This all leads me to my main message. Being gay does not mean you have to enjoy dancing, wear make-up and listen to Lady Gaga. But if that is what you enjoy doing- don't let me, or anyone else, stop you from doing that. It is vital that you know- when you do come out it does not mean you have to live up to a label or a stereotype. Don't fear being gay because you dislike the stereotype associated with it- rather break that stereotype. On the same note, if you enjoy living up to the stereotype- there is nothing wrong with that! You can just be YOU!
 

Found this venn diagram funny

Final Thought:
"Fairy. Queen. Muscular. Fem. Camp. Masculine." Why change yourself for other people? We essentially come out the closet to live a more open and genuine life- not to change who we are. It is our differences that make us unique- not our similarities. Regardless whether you live up to the stereotype or not- you should not fear a life of honesty. Being gay will not change who you are. There is no need to label yourself or associate yourself with anything... Don't let the stereotype scare you back into the closet- it's darker back there anyways! 

Image Source: Google
Should any of these images belong to you and you wish to have them removed- please notify The Righteous Gay immediately. 

Reasons I LOVE Being Gay

Admittedly, the posts this month have not been as effective/ moving as last month's. So today I have decided I would post something fun to read and, perhaps, more entertaining than before. I have composed a list. This list is entitled "Top Ten Reasons I LOVE Being Gay". It's rather self explanatory- but for those who do not follow- allow me to explain. This list is made up of reasons why I enjoy being homosexual... I cannot explain- rather read it! Your list may differ- but here are my reasons(starting from 10 working up to 1):

10.

Appreciation for both sexes. It would go without saying that I find men attractive- but I can also appreciate attractive woman. Many straight men are less fortunate in the sense that even if they believe another man is good-looking- they wouldn't dare admit it. Being gay allows me to say "You're good-looking" to both guys and girls without having to worry what is thought of me.

 

This Armani advert is a great example

9.

Ability to mock gays. I always say "the least gay thing I do- is allow my dog to pick out my shirts." This is just one of many jokes I make regarding my sexuality. It's great being able to joke about my sexuality- it often relieves tension in defensive conversations and can lighten a mood very easily. The reason this is only limited to gays is because if anyone else made these remarks- they might seem homophobic or rude. We, on the other hand, are just being comedic!

8.

Societal Pressure Relief. The term I have given to my 8th reason. "Queue the song Little Boxes by Malvina Reynolds." Societal Pressure Relief refers to no longer having to fit a norm. Being gay means- you no longer have the pressure to find a perfect wife (or for some husband) ,start a family, live in a perfect house and keep up with Jones'. Although- you could still do all above- it is no longer EXPECTED of you.

The "perfect" family

7.

Celebrity support. Ever stopped and thought- Charlize Theron supports my decision to marry someone of the same sex? Or perhaps that the president of America does too? It's so refreshing to know that Josh Hutcherson, the cute guy from The Hunger Games, is campaigning for people such as myself. With names such as: Brad Pitt, Angelina Jolie, Drew Barrymore, Colin Farrell, Anne Hathaway and many more supporting gay rights- it's hard to not to boast!

Josh Hutcherson at 2012 GLAAD awards

   

Drew Barrymore for Marriage Equality

6.

Keeping in shape. It might seem contradictory- but being apart of the gay community does keep me in shape. Many gay men are in good physical shape- this just makes me more conscious of leading a healthier lifestyle than before. Although this topic is debatable- I still exercise on a regular basis- which is only beneficial for myself. Hence why it has made its place on this list.

5.

Positive Negativity. I have already mentioned it in a previous post. My 5th reason is Positive Negativity- letting "your hater be your motivator". It's inevitable that you will encounter some malicious people out their who will condemn you for being who you are- this is when you smile in knowing it will only feed your motivation and progression. I have gotten some nasty comments since coming out- they've just helped me grow into a better person!

4.

Meeting new friends. One of the scariest thoughts I had when coming out- was the thought of loosing all my friends. The reality is you probably might loose some friends- but on your journey you will come to realise that many of your friendships have strengthened. In fact friends whom you never thought would cope with the issue could positively surprise you! You will also meet new people and experience new friendships! 

  

3.

Being part of a cause. I love this reason. Majority of you have experienced a history lesson sometime in your life- going back in time and learning about defining moments- such as movements, riots and protests all done for a greater cause. Being gay automatically makes you part of a cause. We all play a part in society- and we all have the ability to change perspectives or even teach and help others about homosexuality. I think it's rather cool- writing history- as we make progression in the world regarding gay rights. 

   

Image taken: Stonewall Riots

2.

Loving who you want. The second reason I love being gay- is because I get to love who I want...Having the choice to love someone genuinely- with no pretense. Being gay means I get to experience my journey through life with another man, whom I love, beside me. This is probably the top of everyone's list...    

 

1.

Being myself. I know it might sound lame- but it is honestly my top reason. Getting to live a life of being honest with my family, and friends. The reason this is more important to me than love- is because I find you have to love yourself before you can love another. By that I mean accepting yourself for who you are... The best reason to be gay- is getting to live life genuinely!

Final Thought:
If you're still closeted and found yourself reading this list- my message to you would be; being gay has its negatives BUT it certainly has its positives too. If being gay was as horrible as many make it out to be- then why do so many still come out and live openly? It's easy to focus on the negatives, rather think of your own list! It needn't be 10 reasons- it could be one strong reason. At the end of the day- you should be conscious of why you came out or plan on doing so. There are so many reasons to love who you are- all you have to do is start looking...

Image Source: Google; Nobody Knows the Last of Me Blog
(Should any of the images belong to you- and you wish to have them removed- please notify The Righteous Gay)


Have a FABULOUS day. (Another great thing about being gay- using words like fabulous!)



 

  

International Gay News

Usually my posts are of more personal perspective- feature articles if you like. Today I've decided to do a post more news related. Usually I try avoid news related articles- seeing as the content can be rather saddening and uninspiring and instead I try keep content as positive as possible. Today's post will be no less enlightening than any before- perhaps you might learn a thing or two. I find that the more you educate yourself on topics such as these- the easier it becomes to educate others.

Recently, gay-related incidents have been the center of attention internationally. In the past month:

In America: A ban on same-sex marriage was approved in North Carolina when Amendment 1 was voted for by more than 60% of the state.

In Russia: Laws were passed in the city of St. Petersburg, banning any “public activities promoting sodomy, lesbianism, bisexuality and transgender identity", with similar laws being passed in other regions of Russia too.

In Iran: Four men have been sentenced to hang (death penalty) for partaking in homosexual activities.

In South Africa: A proposal was made by The House of Traditional Leaders to remove the term "sexual orientation" from the South African constitution. (The proposal was overturned).

In Zimbabwe: The Minister of Local Government, Public Works and Urban Development urged traditional leaders to seize land owned by gay and lesbian citizens.

With 78 countries  that still criminalise same-sex sexual acts and stories as above unfolding on a weekly basis- there still has never been a better time to come out. By that I mean that even though there is all this saddening news unfolding- the world is generally more accepting of homosexuality than ever before. Albeit slow- there is progression regarding acceptance of sexuality. For example- the American president, Barack Obama, came forward and verbalized his support for gay marriage- the first ever to do so. Famous actor- Will Smith and popular rapper- JayZ followed suit mentioning their support of both gay marriage and Barack Obama. In Malawi, the new reigning president has promised to overturn the ban on homosexual acts- Malawi being one of many African countries where homosexuality is illegal. In Havana, Cuba, Mariela Castro (daughter of the Cuban president Raul Castro) mentioned her fathers backing of equal rights for gays and lesbians. In England- British Prime Minister David Cameron has also expressed his support of the LGBT community.

  

Today it might seem like society hasn't made much progression- but perhaps in a years time that 78 figure will be a 75. Maybe majority of America will have marriage equality- setting off a chain reaction...Australia. United Kingdom. France! Lastly- that death penalty for homosexuality may be erased from our world. Regardless whether it happens in a year or not- Imagine it... It has to start somewhere. (There's a little activism in all of us)

Final Thought:

There is still a need for improvement regarding the position the homosexual occupies in present-day society. BUT this doesn't necessarily mean that the position we occupy is inert. Most importantly we have to support one-another as a community. It's inevitable that with greater support the world will slowly start to shows its true colors. I personally look forward to this day!

Oh! One last thought- if the American president supports gay marriage- then you certainly shouldn't be ashamed of your sexuality...

For more information regarding gay rights visit this Wikipedia page

 

My thoughts and prayers go out to the family and friends of the four Iranian men that have been named as: Saadat Arefi, Vahid Akbari, Javid Akbari and Houshmand Akbari. 

The Righteous Gay will not be held accountable should you chose to visit any external links provided- proceed at own risk.

 

Prayers for Bobby: Mother's Day Special

"Before you echo Amen in your home or place of worship, think and remember.

A child is listening."

Mary Griffith

Considering it was Mothers day this past weekend- I have decided to post a story I felt I needed to share. This weekend I watched a movie titled "Prayers for Bobby" which is based on a biographic novel (true story). The story is of Mary Griffith- mother of Bobby, a homosexual boy who is at a crossroads regarding his sexuality and faith. The movie was very saddening but I felt that, due to it's fictional content, the story probably describes what many of you are experiencing. 

Mary Griffith and her son Bobby

I will give you a basic synopsis of the film. The audience is introduced to what, at first, appears to be a happy family- the Griffith's. As the movie progresses- it is learned that Bobby questions his sexuality and begins to realise his attraction to the same sex. Bobby's parents soon learn about his secret which is met with regret. After much therapy and church classes Bobby begins to believe he is "incurable" (which is true) and that he is going to hell (which is not true). This leads Bobby to become depressed and Bobby decides to take his own life. Mary Griffith, Bobby's mom, reaches the realization that homosexuality is not a sin, and as a result becomes a supporter of the PFLAG association going on to help others in the same predicament.   

So why discuss this for Mother's day? Mary Griffith- mother of Bobby- has a very important story to share. I believe there are two important things to be learned from her story. Firstly- it is not right to take your life because you are unhappy with your situation. Things do get better- it is with patience that you will come to realise this. Secondly- people can make a change. Mary Griffith's opinion on homosexuality has changed vastly. This mother had to endure the tragedy of loosing a son- before coming to realize that. Not everyone's story has to end like Mary's.

Mary Griffith at a PFLAG event

With mother's day having passed- many of you might have experienced mixed emotions on the day. Some of you would have enjoyed the day spent with the family- others, perhaps, did not spend time with anyone. What ever your situation- I think we all have to realize that certain people hold an important place in our hearts and lives. For me- my mother is one of these people. Although she is generally accepting of my sexuality, this is too a learning experience for herself as well as my family. People often become frustrated, despondent and regretful upon the learning of your sexual orientation. The answer is NOT in taking your life. I do not mean to trivialize Bobby's death. I couldn't begin to imagine the pain and suffering he endured but for all viewers who consider taking Bobby's route- I will have to stop you...

 Final Thought:

 Bobby's story is unfortunate- and the gay community has had enough misfortune already. Research more about groups/organizations/associations/meetings for people such as yourself. Learn more. It is important you do not make a permanent decision (such as killing yourself) based on temporary emotions. There will come a time where you will look back and be thankful you heard about Bobby and Mary's story- and you will smile knowing the story never ended the same.

To read more about Mary and Bobby's story- visit this link or read Prayers for Bobby.

If you are struggling with your sexuality and you would like to speak to someone going through the same try the TEEN LINE site - it is a step in the right direction. Also it is one of many sites/helplines. Alternatively you could send me an email @ gregodemi@gmail.com .

Left: The Griffith's    Right: Bobby     

I DO APOLOGIZE TO ALL THE READERS- THIS POST WAS MEAN'T TO BE POSTED ON MONDAY.

Positive Negativity

 We as humans all share one thing in common. We all have the ability to interpret information the way we choose to. Circumstance may lead you to believe that you're incapable of making an assumption without another persons opinion- this however is false. You're highly capable of it. This leads me to todays post- Positive Negativity. The concept is basic- yet difficult to apply. You decide whether it is applicable in your life.

In todays society almost everything is surrounded with some form of negativity. Homosexuality's biggest negative is homophobia. Majority of you have experienced homophobic remarks and perhaps some of you still do today. This may seem absurd but, what if I told you these remarks could lead you into a happier state of mind? By using certain information the way you choose- it may just be possible. "Let my haters be my motivators" or as I like to call it Positive Negativity.

Everyone has an outlet. Some compose music, play a sport, create art and some even eat. No matter what your outlet be, everyone has room for development or "bettering themselves". Bettering oneself is a difficult process- it demands a lot of time, attention and effort. Something that I find helps the process is the negativity that surrounds me. For instance when training- thinking of homophobic remarks allows me to push myself further. The beauty is that it needn't be just homophobic remarks- it may be anything negative. The aim is to achieve positive growth by motivating yourself with negativity .

With the fight for marriage equality and legalizing homosexuality taking part in certain areas of the world- the gay community will come under lots of scrutiny. These efforts will be met with a lot of animosity, hate and anger by the opposition. It may not affect you directly- but it will affect you nonetheless. During this time it is important we let our voices be heard, whether it is comforting a gay friend, partaking in activism or just saying your part. It is important you do not allow the hostility to get to you. Retaliating with anger is never the appropriate way to approach a situation. Be smart. Use their negativity to your advance. Allow them to fuel your progression.

On a personal note- I experienced a lot of homophobic mentality during high school. Due to me being closeted through out high school- friends were comfortable with my straight persona. This comfort led to many people relaying their thoughts about homosexuality, and their disliking of it, to me. Best friends would make distasteful remarks about gay men around me and I could not retaliate or defend them. I know many of you are experiencing the same as I did. As hurtful as it may be- you need to reassure yourself. Allow these moments of aggravation and hurt to build you up! In fact, these moments could be seen as having the upper hand.

Final Thought:

"God hates fags". "Homosexuality is unnatural". "Gays go to hell". Their intention is to break you down- do not allow them the pleasure. Apply Positive Negativity. The concept is basic and advantageous- should you have the ability to apply it to your situation. It may be difficult to apply but no one ever said it would be easy, however, IT WILL BE WORTH IT IN THE END.

I leave you with a quote from a speech by Nelson Mandela, "There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won't feel insecure around you."

I would also like to express my sadness upon the hearing of Amendment 1 being approved. The fight is not over yet!!!

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